Hidden Scars
by WolfoftheMoonStorm
Summary: Just a collection of one-shots about Luffy and the aftereffects of Ace's Death. Rated T for (very mild/mild) swearing. Marked complete for one-shot reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**** Unbroken Promise**

**Disclaimer: **Yeah...no. i don't own One Piece.

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><p>It had started out like a completely normal dinner on the <em>Thousand Sunny<em>. The entire crew was slightly more upbeat than usual, for no reason other than that they were all together and it had been a good day. They were all up to their usual antics, but at the same time participating in one large group gathering were their activities overlapped seamlessly to create a scene of pure relaxation and joy. Even Luffy, who had been laughing on the floor moments ago, had somehow wound up in a name-calling contest that was so ridiculous not even the contestants could take it seriously.

So, when the mood suddenly dropped and every member of the crew was staring at the door through which the straw hat wearing captain had just left, the difference was night and day. All of their minds were working fast, trying to sort out the problem that had caused their captain to shout angrily and then claim he wasn't _hungry _before practically _bolting _out of the room. They rapidly came to the conclusion that the name-calling contest was at fault, but couldn't exactly figure out why. That was, until they saw a certain green-haired swordsman glaring daggers at the cook. And the rather guilty expression on said cook's face as they all recalled exactly what he had said. Or, more accurately, what _word _he had said.

"_Weak." _

None of them really remembered the sentence it was used in, but it barely took them a fraction of a second to realize that the word had been directed towards Luffy and that he had _reacted_. They were all stunned. This was _Luffy_. He _never _reacted to name-calling. So why was this any different?

It took them a minute to all scramble out the doorway as they had all rushed out simultaneously, practically clawing at each other in a desperate attempt to find their captain who had all but vanished from view. After a search that left them feeling ridiculous once they realized that Luffy was sitting where he always did when he was thinking- his "special seat"- they all managed to fit around him and sit down, staring worriedly at his blank eyes that watched the horizon in front of him with disinterest.

"Luffy-" Sanji began gently, frightened at the lifeless expression on his captain's face. Luffy shook his head a fraction of an inch. "I know. I'm sorry I overreacted." Luffy's dull voice shook them to the core. He was _apologizing_? For _"overreacting"_? The silence reigned over them for a few moments as they watched a multitude of emotions flicker to life in Luffy's eyes.

"I promised him, you know?" Luffy said suddenly, snapping them out of their worried thoughts. "Ace." Luffy clarified at their puzzled expressions. Their blood froze in their veins. This was _not_ safe territory. Ace was a taboo subject. Forbidden for the sake of keeping Luffy happy. _Every single time _Ace's name popped up it was accompanied with an immediate poker face from their captain and a strangely normal act even though they could practically _see _whatever memory he was suppressing in his eyes. They felt the urge to turn and bolt, just so he wouldn't have to keep talking, because they could see that expression in his eyes again. But this time there was no poker face. No strangely normal act. So they stayed where they were, hopeful and forbiddingly curious, offering their silent support. Not that they would have run anyway. They wouldn't let him suffer through those memories alone. Not after he _lived _through it alone.

"I promised him I would get stronger, and stronger and stronger, and stronger and stronger." Luffy continued, his voice cracking slightly as his expression turned slightly reminiscent and guilty. "That I would never be weak. So I would never lose anyone I cared about ever again. I promised him that a long time ago." They shuddered at the word "_again_." Something like _that_- that horrible war- had happened to him before?

They surrounded their captain silently, each reaching out to hold him in a comforting embrace as he dropped his head into his hands. "And I _broke _that promise." The words pierced them like a sharp knife. It had been two years, and they hadn't been there the entire time while he suffered under the guilt of the idea that _he _was responsible for Ace's death. Because he had broken his promise.

They had no words to comfort him with, but they each resolved that he was _never _going to feel this pain again. No matter what. And if anyone ever dared to call Luffy _that word _ then they better run to hell for protection.

"Idiot captain." They told him. But the hidden message was there. _You never broke that promise._

And the next day their idiot captain was grinning and nagging Sanji for food as he went through his usual routine of destruction. But the hits over the head Nami gave him were softer than normal and accompanied with the mikan he had been trying to steal. The games he played with Usopp and Chopper lasted longer. Zoro grumbled less when he chattered nonstop in the crow's nest as Zoro trained. Franky's usual presentation of invention contained a secret surprise just for him. Brook played Luffy's favorite song more than he usually did. Robin picked out an adventure book to read to him. Sanji gave him slightly more food than usual. And they all complained a little less when Luffy took food off of their plates.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**** Failure to See**

**Disclaimer:**I do not own One Piece.

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><p>The sound clawed at their ears, freezing their blood and stopping their hearts. It tore them limb from limb and halted their thoughts as the building crumbled around them. It was a blood-curdling cry of pain and fear that ripped from the throat of the person crouched on the floor, clawing at his face with bloodied hands as he tried to <em>tear the skin off of his palms<em>. He was writhing in pure _agony _on the cold stone floor, his eyes empty and haunted. They could only scream his name in fear, reaching for him as their captain slammed his head into a nearby wall, screeching for _whatever was in his head _to disappear.

The cause had apparently been the sight of Zoro, exhausted beyond belief and bleeding lightly from his side as Luffy supported him from their crouching position on the ground. Or perhaps it had been the sight of his palms, covered in Zoro's blood- as he was now trying to rip off the blood-soaked skin.

They had come to break him out of the sea-stone jail cell that had him locked up in the Marine building now crumbling into dust around them. He had- by some means unknown to them- managed to be distracted enough to be caught by a group of Marines and had _not _been able to escape. Although, judging by the site of his abduction, they supposed there had been sleeping drugs in his food. After brutally tearing apart every Marine on the base and watching Zoro practically kill the commander- who gave him the shallow-yet-bleeding-surprisingly-more-than-it-should-even-if-it's-not-life-threatening cut on his side- they had quickly found the key to both the cell and the cuffs while easily fending off the last of the Marines- thank you two years of training.

They had all been up for days trying to find this damn hidden base just to tear it down brick by brick and things had been progressing smoothly- until that damned cut on Zoro's side starting bleeding and he had tripped, falling to his knees in an attempting to catch himself. Luffy had beaten him to it, crouching on the ground- his knees on the ground as well- to support the green-haired swordsman. And so it had seemed like nothing more than a minor trip that Sanji was sure to laugh at later as they sprinted from the oncoming group of marines that was accompanied by Admiral Kizaru in an attempt to _finally _catch the Straw Hat Pirates. That was, until Luffy had started screaming out loud in horror- still weak from his four days lack of food and being chained to the sea stone cuffs and barely allowed to rest.

Zoro had wasted no time leaping up in shock- jerked out of his sleep-and-blood-loss induced state. And Luffy had wasted no time giving them a feeling of absolute horror as he repeatedly slammed his head into any hard surface in the area, screaming for something to get out of his head and leave him alone as he nearly pulled his hair out. The marines behind them were watching the scene with a horror similar to Luffy's crew- but they knew _exactly _what this was caused by. But even that knowledge didn't stop them from halting in their steps and refusing to budge another inch, and even Kizaru appeared uncertain.

"Ace!" Luffy yelled out, clawing at his temple and leaving more bloody streaks down the side of his face. The crew felt like they had been hit in the gut with a three-thousand ton hammer. _Ace. _This whole mental breakdown was caused by a situation that reminded them of Ace. Because Luffy had been supporting Zoro while the swordsman was limp and bleeding. Because Luffy's hands were now covered in the blood of someone he cared about.

The realization made their attempts to pin down their grief-crazed captain double. Ace had died in Luffy's arms-literally- with his blood covering their captain's hands. They felt beyond sick at the thought, at their _failure to see it_. Their hearts had long since stopped and the blood in their vein had been ice for years. The only thought that consumed them was that their captain had suffered worse than they thought two years ago.

"_Luffy!" _They all cried out desperately. Their captain paused mid-spring, freezing in the action of digging his nail into the side of his head just above his ears. A flicker of recognition passed through his eyes as they sparked back to life. Zoro was there in a second, pulling Luffy's hands away from his head and wiping them clean. Chopper was there barely a moment later, inspecting both of them as they whispered calming words to their frozen captain. Nami and Usopp were there next, adopting protective stances over the group kneeling on the ground as they glared daggers at the Marines- _daring _them to take that first step that would send them to a place worse than hell. Sanji, Robin, and Franky were there next, followed shortly by Brook as they completed the shielding line between Luffy and the Marines. The Marines froze at the looks on the Straw Hat Pirates' faces. There were six _devils _staring them down and as Kizaru- after a rather long pause- ordered them to keep going- two more joined the group and the Marines shivered in fear but charged forward anyway, silently thinking they were rushing to death.

Chopper and Zoro worked on soothing Luffy, feeling marginally better as the tension left their captain and he focused his eyes on them again, as though seeing them for the first time. Another few tense minutes passed as the six-person line of defense held off the Marines rather violently- angry gleams in their eyes as it occurred to them that it was _these enemies _that had caused the nightmare that Luffy had suffered through alone. Finally, Luffy managed to rise to his feet and take in the scene before him- and it took him only moments before he was apparently _extremely beyond angry _at the sight of the Marines that had caused his relapse attacking his friends and knocked out the majority of the Marines with one strong burst of Conqueror's Haki.

A moment later they were all surrounding Zoro, who was carrying the emotionally and physically tired straw-hatted captain on his back, and sprinting for the _Thousand Sunny _while making damn sure that they took out as many of the Marines that were chasing them as physically possible for them- which meant that a lot of Marines had just suffered at the angry hands of the Straw Hats.

An anxious half hour later, Chopper emerged from the Infirmary to inform them that Luffy was sleeping now and that his relapse was over, but he may have traces of shock when he woke up. (And then proceeding to shout at Zoro, who had already removed his bandages.)

It was mild to say the Straw Hats did not rest easy that night, but they had all taken a silent oath that Luffy would never _ever _be put in a situation where he was weakened and supporting one of his nakama with their blood covering his palms _ever again_.

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><p>It had been a couple weeks later when they had caught Luffy sitting out on the deck, starring at his hands blankly. It wasn't hard for them to see what he was doing- what he needed. So the sat in a semi-circle around him, close enough to reach their hands out to comfort their Captain. "Tell us." Was all Zoro had to say before Luffy opened his mouth and began to speak. And they listened. Listened to the story of mushrooms and challenges, of poison and the loss of ten years, of bloodshed and pain. Of desperation.<p>

And when the tale had finished, they did not hesitate to pull him into on large comforting embrace. And they kept their own pain quiet, locked up in the backs of their minds. They did not mention the grief of learning that they had lost another ten years with the captain they loved. They did not mention the pain of realizing how much they needed to be there, _but weren't_. Instead, they held on to their captain, who was blaming himself for being too weak to save those he cared about two years ago, in an attempt to comfort the person who failed to see how he had saved them all.

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><p><strong>So, just wanted to say that i will take prompts for the one-shots, and i made add specials that don't particularly follow the same categories as chapters 1 and 2. (Ex: Ace coming back during a relapse moment or something...) <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**** Oath**

**Disclaimer: **Yeah… I wish I owned One Piece…

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><p>The Straw Hat Pirates crowed together in the Infirmary on the <em>Thousand Sunny<em>, watching with nervous eyes as the reindeer doctor of the crew tended to the green-haired swordsman. Both Chopper and Zoro had attempted to ease their worries with reassurances, and though the crew had given murmurs of assent, they remained worried and unrelaxed. Especially the straw hat wearing captain. The one person who they had been unable to convince was Luffy, who Chopper had finally figured out had understood that this time it was _a lot _worse. Chopper had simply written it off as part of whatever strange bond they had going on, but he was beginning to worry about how little Luffy seemed to be eating and sleeping. He knew that Luffy trusted him and believed that he would do everything he could to help Zoro, but that didn't stop Luffy from worrying.

Worrying about Zoro's latest injury.

This time a rival pirate crew had sprung a trap on them, one that they easily fought their way out of, but they had managed to injure most of the crew- especially the Monster Trio. The trap was specifically designed to weaken them with wounds before the enemy crew swept in to finish them off. And it had worked. Luffy and Sanji had recovered rapidly, but only because Zoro had the common sense to push them out of the way in the nick of time so he took most of the damage.

And his life had been in danger. And Luffy _knew_. So Luffy stressed, and the rest of the crew had to _convince him to eat_ and sleep, much to their distress. Until Zoro had snapped at him for it, at least, and then Luffy came back to his senses and ate and slept as usual- if not in smaller amounts.

The wounds Zoro had received were healing slowly, and Luffy was _not _happy with that. But he was patient and actually helped Chopper restrain Zoro when he tried to sneak out the infirmary after a few days. And because of a stunt he had pulled last night, Zoro was back a step in the healing process and the entire crew was now watching him like a hawk as Chopper bandaged him up and stopped the renewed bleeding.

Zoro was trading rapid-fire insults and complaints with Sanji and Nami, who were chewing him out for even attempting to leave the Infirmary while Luffy watched him with shadowed eyes. But Zoro had a good angle from where he was sitting and he could see the pained expression in Luffy's eyes. And that was enough for him to mentally slap himself and swear he would _stay in the damned Infirmary _if it kept his captain happy.

The Infirmary fell quiet for a short while before the crew began to chat quietly amongst themselves, unnerved by the silence and stillness of their typically rambunctious captain. Zoro met his captain's gaze quietly, and the crew fell silent again at their interlocked gaze, the nervous tension palpable in the room. "Luffy," Zoro began, "I promise I'm not gonna-"

"_Don't!" _Luffy snapped, cutting Zoro off. "Don't promise me that!" His voice was quieter, but still tense and sharp as a razor's edge and his eyes hard. Zoro's eyes widened slightly and the rest of the crew shot puzzled glances at Luffy while he wasn't looking. Luffy _never _snapped at any of them like that. "Ace promised me that, too." Luffy ground out between clenched teeth.

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room the minute Ace's name had been spoken, and as the full meaning of Luffy's words hit them it felt like the temperature dropped. Zoro fell silent as the other looked anywhere but Luffy and Zoro, suddenly feeling cramped inside the room.

The last thing they wanted to hear from Luffy was that he was worried that Zoro was not going to recover. It was _Luffy_- he was always worried about that, but he also knew their limits and hearing even the slightest confirmation from him made them feel like going into full-scale panic mode.

"Then I promise I'll live."

Zoro's words shattered the awkward silence, his eyes filled with some emotion they couldn't identify. He was promising more than just that; he was swearing that he would keep the oath Ace broke. Luffy watched him for a moment, a hint of desperation coloring the back of his eyes as his gaze reflected the same emotion Zoro's did.

And then he grinned and nodded, and the tension faded away, and they all let out a breath they hadn't realized that they were holding as Chopper realized he was still treating Zoro and rushed back to work.

"_Then I promise I'll live." _They repeated under their breath. The oath that they all swore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**** The Spirit He Carries**

**Disclaimer: **I only own One Piece in my dreams.

**So, this is a little different. Less hurt and more "memory of Ace" sort of thing. Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>It was another roller coaster ride of mixed emotions that reminded them that they had a lot to be thankful for since they rarely had to <em>watch <em>him fight like this. They had somehow always ended up separated from each other, but knew without a doubt that the others would win. Especially him. He always won. Always pulled through for them. But they never got the chance to see _exactly _how far he pushed himself for them every time he faced another impossible-to-defeat enemy and won.

But they didn't even have the option of helping him this time as they were forced to watch from the sidelines, chained to the wall with a mixture of regular and sea prism stone cuffs. All of their weapons, their tricks, their escape plans, were on the other side of the room. So all they could do was watch in a mixture of horror and pride as their captain stood up yet _again _against their enemy, blood dripping heavily down his sides. They felt a flicker of warmth at how far their captain would go for them, as well as the icy fangs of fear at how much he would push himself.

They watched unwillingly as Luffy lept towards their enemy and met him in midair. The fight all but vanished from view as they traded quick blows, tearing at each other in a desperate struggle for victory. They were both breathing heavily as they broke apart from one another, new wounds adding to their blood-soaked appearances. They felt a pang of fear at his struggle to stay standing- even if it was matched by his enemy. But their solid belief that he _would _win stayed within them, shaking away the fear as they watched the struggle continue.

But they had never expected to see _this_. They had no clue he even had the strength to do this. They had no idea that they would see _him _come back to life- even if momentarily. They had never expected to see _his_ spirit wrapped up in their captain's soul so firmly as Luffy stretched his arm back.

They had been confused at first. Ever since they had gotten back together Luffy never stretched as far or as much as he used to before he attacked, so why now? It had been a curiosity that had flickered to life briefly in their minds as they watched, strangely out of place in the desperate situation. They had never expected to see the spirit of _Ace _leaving a trail of flames once again as their captain snapped his Haki coated arm forward in a blaze of fire.

"_Red Hawk!"_

Time slowed down for a moment as they watched the swirling flames come into contact with their enemy. They barely recognized that it had worked. That Luffy had done the impossible again. That he had _won_. They only had eyes for their captain who was brave enough to carry a living reminder of _Ace _with him every day.

The fact that Luffy had found the keys and unlocked their cuffs barely registered in their minds as they tugged him into their arms, sick with worry and grinning with joy. They surrounded their exhausted captain as Chopper checked him over; examining his arm thoroughly even though Luffy reassured him it caused him no damage.

"Idiot Captain." _We're proud of you._

"We were worried sick!" _We knew you would win._

"That was so cool!" _Ace?_

"Don't ever scare us like that again!" _You're not allowed to get yourself killed._

"Dumbass! We were fine!" _Thanks for saving us._

_We're so proud of you. And the spirit you carry._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**** Burdens He Holds**

**Disclaimer: **I sadly do not own One Piece.

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><p>They didn't notice it in the morning. They didn't notice the odd silence and the quiet mood that had settled over the <em>Thousand Sunny <em>even though the entire crew was awake. They didn't pause to look twice as the silhouette on the figurehead, even though he would typically be nagging them all for food and fun since a new day had started. It unsettled them, of course, the lack of activity that had become so normal for them. But they hadn't quite identified the reason for their own restlessness. At least, not until the call for breakfast rang across the ship and they all arrived in the kitchen and noticed that the one person who shouldn't be missing _was _missing.

When Sanji took a step towards the door to go get their absent captain, Zoro was quick to shake his head and stop the cook in his steps. Their complaints and worries filled the air, but they refrained from going out to drag him in to eat. It was strange that Luffy was skipping breakfast, yes, but they failed to connect the dots and simply assumed he would eat more during lunch.

But their worries were far from eased. As the afternoon drew closer, Luffy still had not moved from his seat and still had not tried to sneak one of Nami's mikans, or bugged Usopp or Chopper to play with him, or even asked Sanji for a snack. Their captain sat without moving, staring straight ahead, his expression hidden from view and his eyes shadowed by the brim of his straw hat. Their unease reflected in their usual activities. Franky and Usopp could barely focus on working on their newest invention. Robin seemed unable to read as quickly as she normally did, constantly glancing up at the back of their captain. Nami had given up working on her maps in peace and quiet all together. Chopper worked on preparing simpler remedies, unable to focus as he should to create the complex ones. Sanji made his usual snacks, but his usual amount of pouring affection was somewhat lax as his gaze drifted toward his silent captain. Zoro couldn't seem to stay asleep as long as he usually did and did not vanish into the crow's nest that day.

When the call for lunch echoed across the ship, they all turned their gazes toward Luffy as they made their own ways toward the kitchen, but their typically ravenous captain didn't even twitch at the mention of food and the scents drifting through the door. Once again they all turned toward Luffy to bring him inside, only to be stopped by Zoro, with a fierce warning glinting in his eyes. Once again they ate a quiet meal without their captain, unsettled and with smaller appetites.

When they returned to deck once again, it would be obvious to even outsiders that the Straw Hats were struggling to stick to their normal routine, the worried and puzzled glances sent towards their captain revealing their anxiety. Zoro alone acted as he normally did, even if he did lay back to rest in a position closer to the figurehead. The rest of them wracked their brains, searching desperately for what could be causing the abnormal behavior of their captain.

When dinner came around and they were met again with an unmoving Luffy, they glared as Zoro stopped their steps yet again- demanding an explanation as to why he was content to let Luffy go hungry.

"It the third year since _that _day." Came the answer.

The rest of them froze, staring past Zoro over at the back of their captain. How could they forget? No- not forget. They had purposely pushed that fact to the back of their minds, eager to avoid the reminder of the horrible day that they had discovered that Luffy had charged into Impel Down and Marineford _alone _in a desperate attempt to save his brother. _And they weren't there. _They hung their heads guiltily, trooping into the kitchen to eat in silence, their worry disguising the taste of the food they ate.

When they emerged once more they made no attempt to resume their routines, and instead sat as a group on the floor boards of the deck just behind the figurehead; their gazes fixed on Luffy as the sun began its slow descent. They all sat in silence as the sunset turned crimson and Luffy dropped his head in to the palms of his hands; the wind pushing his hat back to rest on the string around his neck and leaving his dark locks to be tugged gently by the warm breeze.

They quietly rose to their feet and surrounded their captain in, offering their silent support as the sun sank below the horizon. Luffy's pained gaze flicked up to meet theirs', emotions and memories battling in the depths of his eyes. They simply reached out to comfort him, grateful for the chance to be here for him this time. None of them moved to leave his side until the moon had risen high in the sky and Luffy's eyes had slid shut. They moved him down on to the deck as Nami went to fetch extra blankets and pillows from the group. They laid down in a tightly knit circle, each of them close to their captain, unwilling to leave him alone to the burdens he held.

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><p><strong>So, I'd just like to thank you all for your support. I never expected to receive such a great outcome for these one shots. I hope this one is up to the usual standards- it was midnight when I wrote this and posted it so… Again, thanks for all the reviews and support. I appreciate it so much and I promise to keep writing. <strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Special

**Chapter 6:**** *Special* One Piece**

**Sorry I was gone for so long. I was on a family vacation and there is no internet/wifi there so I couldn't update or anything. I hope you enjoy this special. Sabo meets the crew!**

**Disclaimer: **No. I sadly…. donotownOnePiece. *phew*

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><p>Complete and total silence engulfed the Thousand Sunny as the waves lapped gently against the wood planks and the bright sun warmed the grass on deck. Eight members of the Straw Hat Pirates stood next to the rail, watching the scene in front of them with blank expressions- hiding the concern they felt for the straw hat wearing captain in front of them.<p>

They had recently escaped from Dressrosa and were on their way to their next destination, when a small boat had pulled up next to the Sunny and Luffy had quickly ordered them to open the docks and let the blond-haired stranger on board. Confused, and with a more than a few suspicions and complaints, they had followed the order and waited tensely for what would happen next.

Their captain and the stranger- dressed in what faintly resembled a noble's outfit with a scar over his left eye and a long pipe over his shoulder- were now in the middle of a stare off. Luffy's expressions flitted between disbelief, shock, grief, and a blank mask so fast they had long since given up on keeping pace with him. The stranger, on the other hand, appeared apologetic and happy all at once. The Straw Hat Pirates were utterly baffled at the moment, and even Robin looked mildly surprised that their typically rambunctious captain had remained silent and still for so long.

"Well?" Luffy demanded to their surprise, taking a half step forward as his eyes narrowed. To their utter shock the stranger lifted his left hand- his right was propping the pipe up loosely against his shoulder- and lit the tips of his fingers on fire.

Moments later, the crew had their weapons half drawn and were surrounding their captain protectively, casting worried glances in Luffy's direction. Frankly seemed to be the most worried of them all, voicing a question that only he understood, "I thought you were going to win that?" The Straw Hat's concentration slipped for a moment and Luffy vanished from their ranks, moving to stand next to the stranger- fingers hovering over the flames and seemingly at ease in the stranger's presence. Robin whispered a question to Franky as they watched their captain, puzzled by his actions.

"They used that S.M.I.L.E. stuff to recreate Ace-bro's devil fruit and used it as the prize in the contest in the Coliseum. It was a trap set for Luffy. Or a distraction." Franky explained, "Luffy was determined to win so no one else could get their hands on his brother's devil fruit." He tacked on as an afterthought.

The crew fell silent, confusion and worry colliding as they watched their captain's somewhat pained expression. "You got it." Luffy said so softly they nearly missed it. Their straw-hatted captain sat down with a quiet thud, and the blond-haired stranger sat down with him and lowered the pipe on to the ground as he rubbed soothing circles across their captain's back. Luffy rested his forehead on the stranger's shoulder for a moment, and they felt another pang of confusion and worry.

A few minutes passed before Luffy lifted his head, his usual grin crossing his features. "I knew you'd win!" Luffy exclaimed happily, enveloping the stranger in to a hug. The stranger laughed and returned the hug. "I haven't seen you I forever!" Luffy said and Nami finally asked, "Luffy? Who is this?"

Luffy turned his head, disengaging the hug, jumping up and spinning in midair to face them as he landed on his feet. "This is my big brother, Sabo!" Luffy told them happily before an irritated look crossed his features and he raised one fist to hit Sabo over the head. "I thought you were dead for years!" Luffy shouted unhappily. The blond-haired man fell forward slightly before straightening up. "Sorry, Luffy." Sabo replied guiltily, one hand rubbing his head. "Man, you can really throw a punch now!"

The Straw Hats went utterly silent as they processed this new information.  
>"You have <em>another <em>brother?" Usopp asked.

"You thought he was dead for years?" Brook asked.

Silence consumed the ship. "BIG BROTHER?!" They shouted simultaneously at their unabashed captain. Luffy nodded. "Yup! Shishishi!" He laughed, grinning happily before he frowned at Sabo.

"How come you never told us you were alive?" Luffy actually sounded faintly angry. Sabo placed a hand behind his head nervously, "Luffy, I've been with the Revolutionaries for years. Dragon found me after the Celestial Dragon's attack and took care of me. He offered me a place with the Revolutionaries and I took it. I couldn't send a letter in case it was traced and then they would either find you or Ace and believe that you were connected to the Revolutionaries or they would find us. By the time I figured you would be okay if I sent you a letter you had already left home."

"Dad?" Luffy asked blankly. Sabo nodded, and the rest of the crew gave up with mild exasperation. This was obviously a conversation they would have to wait through and listen to before their questions were answered. They leaned back against the railing of the ship and watched the two brothers talk.

"How'd you even survive?" Luffy asked. "Luck." Sabo replied, keeping his answer short as Luffy fired off another question.

"How come you never tried to find me or Ace?" Luffy asked and Sabo sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I kept tabs on where you had been, but I couldn't try to contact you personally. The Marines would freak out and send all the Admirals after you personally. Ace might of been okay, but I didn't want to risk it, and at the time, you..." Sabo trailed off as Luffy tensed, head tipping down slightly in reluctant agreement. The rest of the crew shifted uncomfortably, this was not a subject they were fond if. "It's okay now, because they're after you anyway- Dragon's son and all." Luffy nodded and the rest of the crew sighed at the unavoidable truth. Sabo coughed nervously, "I'm second-in-command of the Revolutionaries, you see."

"WHAT?!" The Straw Hats exclaimed in shock while Luffy laughed and nodded like he expected nothing else. "You guys are so weird. It's _Sabo_." Their captain said like that explained everything.

Luffy frowned again and became perfectly still. "What about... _then_? Why weren't you...?" Luffy trailed off, grief crossing his features as his hand came up to rest on the x-shaped scar on his torso. The other eight members of the Straw Hat pirates suddenly felt cold and mildly sick. Sabo was quiet for a while, his hand gripping the pipe with enough force to turn his knuckles a vivid white.

"I was on a mission for Dragon for a long time. I didn't have the spare time to collect enough information and stay updated on current events. By the time I finished the mission and found out, two weeks had passed since Marineford." Sabo replied, his voice dark and guilty.

Sabo had expected Luffy to be furious, and shout, and not accept his answers. However, he had not expected to be hugged by his little brother, and then told that _of course_ it wasn't his fault and that _of course_ it was alright. Especially not by his dense little brother.

Both Sabo and the Straw Hats looked mildly surprised when they saw the grin on Luffy's face, even though Sabo could see the faint sadness hidden in his eyes. Then Luffy frowned seriously at him, "I'm still gonna kick your butt. Admirals nothing. We wanted to know if you were alive or not." Luffy told him off, his usual grin already slipping back in to place. Sabo smiled, happy that his brother was handling Ace's death so well.

"Speaking of Marines..." Usopp's voice rang out as he pointed over the railing. "Looks like the ones from Dressrosa aren't giving up so easily." Both Sabo and Luffy moved over to the railing. "I don't sense that Admiral, though." Sanji commented.

Sabo was mildly surprised when Luffy laughed and told Sabo to go sit- captain's orders- they would handle it. Sabo was midway through starting to complain when he realized that one, Luffy and his crew probably _could _handle this with ease and two, he could see how far his little brother had progressed.

To say it was a one-sided battle would be an understatement. The Marines pulled up next to them, made the usual declaration of how bad pirates were and all their crimes, etc., etc., and then attacked. Luffy was smiling and laughing the whole time, swapping sitting on the side lines with other members of the crew as they simply swapped in and out whenever they stopped an attack that the other couldn't defend against in time. Eventually they all jumped in to the fray, overwhelming the Marines with ease and receiving no injuries.

It was near the end of the battle when the Marines finally wizened up and pushed Luffy away from the rest of his crew- surrounding him with sword-wielding Marines. The rest of his crew seemed only mildly concerned, standing back, but with their hands on their weapons all the same. It was at this point when Sabo decided it would be an interesting test, and he doubted the rest of the Straw Hats really new about it and he couldn't wait to see their expressions. He tossed his pipe towards Luffy, "Still remember how to use that, Luffy?" Sabo called in a light voice as Luffy caught the weapon with ease, a strange gleam in his eyes.

Sabo discovered that he was correct. The rest of the Straw Hats were blissfully unaware that Luffy could use a weapon- or that he might actually be slightly more dangerous and terrifying with it. Sabo held back a chuckle at their surprised expressions as Luffy deftly swept the pipe in an arc, running his hands along the metal to flip it over and swipe at the ground behind him- knocking out and disarming many of them.

His raw strength a channeled into the long piece of metal turned it into a terrifying weapon- proven as many of the Marines took steps back and were more than willing to follow the order of retreat as they picked up their comrades and leapt back to their own ship. "Easy." Luffy laughed with a grin as he tossed the pipe back to Sabo. The rest of the crew seemed frozen into stunned expressions- minus Robin and Zoro- as they took an unconscious step away from the pipe that was resting in Sabo's lap.

"You know how to use that, captain-san?" Robin asked in light amusement as she glimpsed her crew mates' expressions. Sabo answered her as Luffy nodded and laughed, "As kids, Ace, Luffy, and I used these as weapons when we were dealing with the thugs or bandits, or Bluejam's gang, or hunting for food."

The Straw Hats raised their eyebrows at this small glimpse of their Captain's past, choosing to not ask some of the questions that popped in to their minds. Instead they decided that they would never _ever_ allow Luffy to get his hands on a pipe ever again, unless he _really _needed one. The shuddered at the image of how easily Luffy dealt with the Marines. Nope, he was monstrous enough without the damn piece of metal.

A few silent minutes passed before Luffy seemed to remember something. "Ah! If you're with the Revolutionaries, then did you meet Robin during the past two years?" Luffy exclaimed suddenly, shocking the crew out of the stunned state at the sudden question. Sabo shook his head, "No, I never got the chance. I was always busy doing some task for Dragon. I only got a break for Dressrosa because it's Ace's devil fruit."

Luffy nodded, his attention already drifting. "Well, now you get to meet my whole crew!" Luffy exclaimed happily as he dragged Sabo over to the rest of the Straw Hats. He pointed to them all as he introduced them, and Sabo did a double take as he got a good look at his little brother's crew.

"Zoro's the swordsman. He uses Santoruyu."

Said green-haired swordsman opened his one eye to look at Sabo from his position leaning up against the railing.

"Nami's the navigator. She fights with the weather- I don't really get it, but it's neat. Ah! Don't touch her mikans."

Nami sighed at Luffy's introduction but gave Sabo a small wave. "That's not quite it, Luffy." She told her captain but sent Sabo a look that told him that Luffy was right about staying away from her mikans.

"Usopp's the sniper. He's uses this neat weapon called Kabuto and lies."

"Oy! Luffy!" The sniper complained.

"Sanji's the cook. He fights with his feet. Ah, Sanji, I'm hungry!"

"When aren't you? Just wait, dinner'll been ready soon." The chef replied, his tone suggesting this was something he went through every day.

"Chopper's the best doctor ever! He's a reindeer who ate hito hito no mi and he has a lot of cool transformations!"

"Shut up! That doesn't make me happy, you jerk!" The now spinning reindeer doctor replied with a smile, and even though he had just seen the blue-nosed reindeer fight and talk earlier, Sabo was still surprised.

"Robin's the archeologist. She's really smart and can even read these poneglyph things. She ate this really neat devil fruit and can grow extra limbs!"

Sabo jerked in surprise as Robin sent him a friendly smile while sprouting said extra limb on the railing to catch the straw hat that slipped off the eager captain's head and toss it back to him.

"Thanks, Robin! Franky's the shipwright. He built the Thousand Sunny out of this special wood just for us. He's also made all these really cool inventions and stuff. He's a cyborg!"

"Super!" Said cyborg shouted, striking a pose, much to Sabo's surprise.

"Brook's the musician! He's a living skeleton. He sailed with the Rumbar Pirates and was their captain for a short while. He ate this devil fruit that let him come back to life and have some really neat abilities. He's friends with Laboon, this whale we met by Reverse Mountain, and he's keeping this promise to meet up with him again after he sails through the Grand Line."

"Yohohoho! It's very nice to meet you." The skeleton gave a small bow as he sipped some tea from a cup.

Sabo turned, eyebrows raised slightly to see his little brother practically (bouncing) in place. "Well?" Luffy asked happily.

"They're all... fascinating." Sabo replied, shooting a glance at some of the stranger members. He smiled as Luffy nodded so fast a normal person would have snapped his neck, "Right? They're the best!" Luffy stated like it was one of the laws of physics. Sabo grinned to himself at some of the smiles that flickered unnoticed across the crew's faces at Luffy's praise.

"Yeah."

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><p>A while later, Sabo was sitting on the swing, watching his little brother interact with his crew. He had been surprised at first, by some of their interactions. At his first glance, they seemed to fit together as well as pieces from different puzzles. They were all so different, each striving for different goals and acting and reacting differently. But as he watched, he came to a different conclusion.<p>

They seemed to revolve around each other, but none more so than Luffy. They seemed to have his unpredictable little brother memorized. It was the little things he had to pay attention to. When Luffy fell overboard, Sabo had barely moved before he realized that Zoro and Sanji were already there and dragging Luffy on board like they had been in the water before Luffy reached it. Nami chewed him out while handing him a towel. When he tried to steal a mikan, Nami hit him over the head, but handed one to him when he asked for it with his puppy dog eyes accompanied with a drawn out_ pleee~ase_. Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy ran around and played like Sabo and Ace did with Luffy when they were little. Robin answered his many questions and read him adventure books without complaint, laughing and smiling at Luffy's antics. Brook played Luffy's favorite song whenever he asked, doing some weird "45 degrees" trick to keep Luffy entertained. Franky seemingly presented new inventions to the crew every day, partly for Luffy's entertainment, as the young captain had been impatiently waiting for Franky to appear on deck later in the day and lit up like a Christmas tree when he did.

They gave Luffy space without question when his eyes glazed over and he stated out at the sea, tracing the scar on his chest lightly with one finger.

They kept Luffy in line and dealt with his usual energy without taking away his fun.

They were all trying to help his little brother achieve _both_ of his goals.

Sabo smiled as he watched Luffy slip into a nap next to Zoro in the sunshine. He leaned back in the swing slightly, tilting his head back as he watched the clouds drift through the sky above his head. At first glance this crew of misfits fit together as well as pieces from separate puzzles.

Because they were all part of one piece.

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><p><strong>Alright, so I hope you enjoyed that. I wrote this on my phone, so I could italicize the things I wanted to so I marked them in parentheses to change later and emailed it to myself soooo if I missed anything and you see some random parentheses then you now know it was supposed to be italicized. When Sabo mentions that the crew is helping Luffy achieve "<strong>_**both**_** of his goals" I am referring to the goal Luffy doesn't recognize himself that Ace talked about in Alabasta- Luffy searching for something truly great. I'll update again soon- hopefully. I'm starting to run out of ideas cause I've been writing so much, so if you have a prompt or something you want to read, post it in the review section or email it to me- my email is on my profile page. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**** Real and Not Real**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything about One Piece.

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><p><em>Hot. Suffocating. Slow. Thick. Burning. Smothering. He couldn't think. It was so close. But it wasn't there. He was drowning in the Earth. Crouching in the sun. It was almost to him. Unable to move. Frozen. Locked in place. It was bright. So bright it hurt is eyes. It was hot. So hot the air itself burned and he couldn't breathe. He had experienced this before. This horror. This paralyzing fear. It was nothing new to him. It wasn't even real. Yet it held him in place. Attacked him with new ferocity every time. And yet, he couldn't look away. Couldn't shut his eyes. Couldn't even twitch his fingers. He was helpless. At the complete mercy of the monster in front of him. The one that had left its mark on him. The one that still hunted him. It would never stop. Not until it had taken everything from him. Left him broken again. Shattered. As frail as thin glass. As weak as he was in the ocean.<em>

_He knew though, that he would be fine. This had happened before. He remembered. But the fear and horror still clawed at his throat as he watched that hand draw ever closer. Ever closer until it would be stopped. Stopped by what he knew what coming next. That was what he was afraid of. The true horror in this illusion. The heat was cold. The earth was air. The fear was light. The horror was nonexistent. The brightness was dark. But what was coming next was real. And he couldn't move._

_Magma. Everywhere. Covering everything in its path. Drawing ever closer to him. Yet he couldn't move. He was fine. The magma wasn't going to hurt him. The blood and wounds that covered him didn't ache so bad that he was forced to recognize that he was probably going to die. The loneliness of realizing he would never see the family he had collected again wasn't a pit of black despair eating away at him. The tiny scrap of paper flitting away from his fingers that he could suddenly reach for didn't become his only ray of hope._

_His outstretched fingers missed. His onyx eyes looked up of their own accord. It was here. The magma was everyone. Inches from him. Burning his skin and hair. He was calm._

_It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real._

_But he was very real._

_But the wall of flames that blocked the magma was very real._

_The wall of hurt flames. Burned flames. Smothered flames. Bloody flames. Dying flames._

_The blood that coated his hands was very real. The hole that sat where flesh should be was very real. The scent of death and blood that covered everything was very real. The last words that rang in his ears were very real. The horror and fear and pain and loneliness and sadness and guilt and disbelief that clawed through him and tore him to shreds were very real. The screams that escaped him and tore his throat and broke his voice were very real. The blood that poured from his throat was very real._

_The cold, unforgiving eyes behind the magma were very real._

_The darkness that swallowed him was both._

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><p>He awoke with a beating heart and sweaty palms. Drops of cold fear raced down his spine as he reached for the mark that would mar him forever. A reminder, of both pain and hope. A lesson, both good and bad. A memento, of life and death.<p>

He picked up the familiar hat of straw next to him and made his way outside. The lapping of waves. The midnight sea breeze. The thin crescent moon. The glittering stars. The grass under his feet. The leaves on the tree. The creaking of the wood. The scents of his family. The peacefulness that surrounded him.

They were all real.

But so was the blood.

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><p><strong>Hey, sorry for the long wait, I ran out of ideas for a while. This is 1 out of 4 new chapters that I came up with ideas for, so the rest should come up today and tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**This is a story from Luffy's point of view.**

**The fire is Ace.**

**The magma/monster is Akainu.**

**I know that's probably obvious, but I just felt like I should confirm it. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**** No Repeats**

**Disclaimer:** Ace would be alive if I owned One Piece….so this series wouldn't exist… o.o

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><p>It was an accident. Completely and totally unexpected. No reason. No injury. Just an accident. This misplacement of a foot. The slow fall through the air. The extended hands. The jarring feeling of catching oneself on the cold hard ground. The small sting in the center of his palms. It was just an accident. Just one small trip. A stumble.<p>

But it was dangerous.

On a typical day, he wouldn't have even been scolded for his trip. It was so small, that there was no possible way that even _he _could have broken something nearby. Perhaps someone would chuckle, or ask if he was alright. Maybe he scuffed the floor a bit and earned a "be careful!"

But this was not a typical day.

Against anyone else, he would have had time to recover. To stand up. To move away. There would be no cause for worry. Perhaps a small jump in someone's heart. A tiny flicker of momentary panic.

But this was not anyone else.

This was an enemy he could not stumble against. This enemy was _quick_. Disappearing and reappearing so fast even Haki could barely keep up.

But Luffy could.

Luffy with his natural speed. His genius-level natural battle skills. His quick adaption. He keen sense for figuring out the enemy.

It had stunned them. Yes, they had always known that he turned into a genius in a fight. That he saw what they missed. But it had surprised them to see that he had gotten even better at it over the past two years. He had figured out the enemy so fast that all they had to do was follow his lead and they would be fine. It was simple. Routine.

But it wasn't.

He had tripped. Misplaced his foot by a centimeter. Turned a little funny because his balance suddenly felt thrown off ever so slightly. Tapped the floor. Been surprised. Caught himself in the same split second. And was halfway through standing up.

But it was too slow.

And the enemy _knew_. And the enemy took his chance.

And suddenly _all_ of them were there. Every last one. It probably saved their lives. One person might have surprised the enemy. Two people might have made him mildly hesitant. All of them shocked him.

A defensive line. He could have plowed straight through them. All eight of them had no defense of their own. They were simply serving as a shield while Luffy got to his feet. It was pure instinct.

So that shock saved their lives. They had been surprised to be perfectly fine a half-second longer than they had thought. They hadn't believed for a moment the enemy would falter.

Not for long, at least. And for as fast and ruthless as the enemy was, half a second _was_ long.

Half a second for the enemy to begin to move. Half a second for Luffy to take in the scene around him. Half a second for Luffy to rise to his feet. Half a second for his crew to remain uninjured.

Half a second for Luffy to snap.

They had never heard the cry of pure rage that tore from their captain's throat before. Never expected it. It was worse than they had imagined. It sent shivers down their spines and stopped their pulses. It was wild and untamed fury that promised pain. They recognized it instinctively in their gut. For the moment, their captain was not the same person they had come to know.

It echoed with something else than rage. Hurt. Ache. Pain. Fear.

And then they were pushed away. They couldn't identify the moment they had been forcibly removed from the position they had been standing in. It was so sudden that the contact with the hard floor was gentle. Unnoticeable. As though the strength that had moved them was refusing to cause them any pain.

And when they looked up, they could not remember who they were. Their hearts didn't beat. Their eyes didn't see. They didn't exist. The scene before them consumed them and jarred their consciousness, their soul, from their physical forms.

Unrestrained. Unforgiving. Merciless. Brutal. Determined. Protective. Vengeful.

Rage.

It was over in the same instant it had begun. Their captain stood victorious over the fallen enemy. Breathing heavily, blood pouring from an unnoticed wound he had received in his rage. Red liquid dripping from his hands. His palms. His fingers. The furious look in his eyes. The tense set in his shoulders. The locked position of his jaw.

A mixture of emotions ran through them as he turned his enraged glare towards them. _"Don't. Do. That. Ever. Again."_ He hissed the order from between clenched teeth. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was talking about. What had set him off.

It took absolutely no hesitation to open their mouths and begin to argue. It took the same amount of effort for Luffy let out a sound that was practically a _growl_. "No one is _ever _going to do that for me _ever _again."

It was only _that_ motion that kept them from speaking up in protest. The almost unnoticeable trembling that shook his frame as his blood covered hand crept up to lightly touch the mark on his torso that filled their eyes every day.

And then he marched out of the ruined building, the rumble crumbling in his wake.

And he left them all with the one piece of information that they had all wanted to know.

And they had never wanted to give something back so desperately.

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><p><strong>Okay, so clarifying time! Woot!<strong>

"**No one is **_**ever **_**going to do that for me **_**ever**_** again." Luffy talking about someone dying to protect him like Ace did. (In particular- he was down and vulnerable and being protected by someone he cared about who wasn't.)**

**Yes, Luffy just tripped and it caused a situation that made him snap and beat an enemy closer to death than any of the other people who he's defeated.**

"**And he left them all with the one piece of information that they had all wanted to know." Not too hard to figure out. They found out how Ace died. Or, what he was doing when he died. "**_**That**_** motion" is him touching his scar, which he does when remembering a particularly painful memory. Mostly about Ace or Akainu.**

**The title ("No Repeats") just means that Luffy doesn't want a repeat of Ace's death.**

**So I hope you enjoyed! Please review and tell me exactly what you think! The next chapter will be up soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**** That Which Has Become Your Light**

**Disclaimer:** …Do I have to say it? *cries* "Idon'townOnePiece."

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><p>It took a stranger for them to accept it.<p>

Docked another island in the New World, they had decided they could all go out and were currently walking in one rambunctious group down the street. The civilians there knew who they were, but had decided that the Straw Hat Pirates really weren't there to cause havoc (the bad kind, at least), and refrained from calling the Marines. In fact, they were downright welcoming to the pirates. Waving and greeting them, laughing at their antics, watching them curiously. Simple things that no one minded.

So, perhaps it was no surprise that it took them a while to notice her. She was slipping in and out of the shadows as she followed them along, her eyes fixed on all of them at the same time. Analyzing. Thinking.

It unnerved Zoro, who had noticed her first, to no end. And that was quite the feat.

It had bothered him at first, when he had visually noticed the figure following them, that he hadn't detected her presence with Haki. But there was a light-hearted and relaxed mood following them around, so he assumed he had let his guard down some and immediately changed that. That was, until he noticed that no one else had noticed her at all.

Or so he thought. At one point, stopped outside a library for Chopper and Robin, Zoro noticed that a certain amount of excessive energy was missing. And he looked around and saw his captain standing about two feet away, completely silent, looking towards the stranger. And Zoro realized that his captain had always been aware of her. And when a slight motion of the stranger caused his captain to relax and become as typically energetic as ever, he raised his own gaze to meet the stranger's.

Not that that was possible. For some reason he couldn't see her eyes. So clear they were dark, so dark they were clear.

And then he blinked, and she was gone.

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><p>All of them noticed her next time. She was practically demanding their attention.<p>

But somehow, Luffy didn't see her.

She was standing next to the last building before the docks. Her dark hair ruffled in the cooling breeze. Staring straight towards the _Thousand Sunny_ with an unwavering gaze.

So they all came to a stop, except for Luffy, who continued towards the ship at an ever-pace-increasing headlong spring with his usual carefree grin and laugh.

Neither side spoke a single word for a long time.

And then she made them realize what they had been avoiding.

"'_Lest you wish to lose that which has become you light, do not leave this wound untreated."_

He was not the same as he had been. He had changed. Carrying something on his shoulders. A future so huge that not even the angels could see all of it. Burdens so heavy the world seemed light. An infinite drive forwards. A shadow that chased him. Fighting a war on all fronts. The final piece of an endless puzzle. Destined to walk his own path alone, to be the cause of what was to come on his own strength. By his own Will. The keystone to bring everything.

Continuously bleeding. Weakening. Cracking. Still holding strong. Marching towards an inevitable defeat. Because he could not heal his wound alone.

They looked away from the stranger toward the silhouette on the figurehead. Shoulders low. Hat swinging loosely on the string around his neck. Hair ruffled in the breeze. Eyes glazed and empty. His hand continuously tracing an x pattern over the scar that had haunted their dreams.

An act. A joyful one. The happiness that filled him when he was with them. So easily replaced by pain and loneliness. The mask he wore. Trying to hide his suffering from them. Standing up for them while his wound ate away at him.

He was not the same as he had been.

Wind whispered past their ears and when they looked back, the stranger was gone.

What they had realized so long ago had been recognized.

He was not the same as he had been.

It had taken a stranger for them to accept it.

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><p><strong>M'kay. So this is about something a tiny bit different. You know how Luffy seems like he's not so affected in the animemanga anymore? So, this Luffy acts like that, but he **_**is**_** affected. So while the crew knew that he **_**was **_**affected instinctively, they couldn't accept it in reality because I mean, who **_**wants**_** someone to be suffering from what Luffy went through? (*cough*darkersideofme*cough*) So, a stranger helped them out. XD a very mystical stranger who wasn't actually human. Btw, I'm sure you know, but yes, Luffy is "the light".**

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**** Relapse**

**Disclaimer:** Unless I suddenly became a different person over night, I am not Oda, and definitely do not own One Piece.

***The continuation of this one-shot is now up under the same title!***

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><p>He wondered who exactly he could blame. He couldn't figure out how he could <em>not <em>have noticed, so his stubborn mind told him that it _had _to be someone else's fault.

Not that there was anyone else within a hundred mile radius that he could even interact with.

Because the dead were invisible to the living.

But his mind was stubborn anyway, and repeatedly told him _"No, you idiot, you are not at fault."_

He had given up arguing with that voice in his head. If that was really what his mind believed, then he had been wrong about who was the idiot in the family his entire life.

Or maybe his mind was trying to prevent him from going into a grief-and-guilt-induced state of mental shock.

His mind went quiet. That was _definitely_ the reason.

He continued to watch the figure that was the cause of his recently ended mental civil war. Said figure had finally recovered from what had happened earlier and was staring out at the sea with a mask that was slowly fading away as his emotions returned to a normal state.

Ace had never been more jealous about his little brother's ability to "bounce back" from just about _everything_. He had never been happier about it either.

Now that his thoughts had slowed down as they tried to comprehend everything he had just witnessed, Ace discovered that he couldn't seem to form a coherent _word_- much less a thought.

With a sigh that went unheard by his very much alive little brother, Ace forced his stunned mind to relive its experience from just moments ago so he could sort himself out.

At the time, he had been debating whether or not being dead and discovering that there _was_ an afterlife was a blessing or a curse. On the bright side, he could finally meet his mother and had discovered that Sabo _wasn't _dead- that bastard was in for an earful when he _did_ finally pass on. He had also discovered that until he "moved on" to the next word he could spend as much time as a ghost as he wanted to- which meant that he could literally watch over his brothers until the day they died- the Whitebeard pirates included, of course. On the downside, the person whose blood alone had caused his death was also in the afterlife. Ace sighed as he thought about that and subconsciously reached upwards towards the wound that had caused his death- or, he tried to, at least.

He had been in shock when he had discovered that the hole in his torso had been slowly closing as the days passed. He wasn't sure exactly _why_, but had more or less come to the conclusion that in the afterlife, you looked like you did in your prime, but the exact age and appearance was influenced by how happy you were with your life at that point.

Or so he would like to say. Considering that another ghost had told him that when Ace had stumbled upon him, stressed over the fact that his death wound was disappearing. It wasn't like he wasn't happy about it, but it's not like he _expected _it out of the blue. On the plus side, when he had final gathered the courage to turn and look, he had seen that the symbol of the Whitebeard pirates had returned as well.

All of this had been crossing his mind as he had left his watch of Sabo- which he had been doing for the past week- and hunted down Luffy to watch _him_ for a week- as had become his routine. Being a ghost definitely had its perks. Such as not having to listen to physics that told him that he had to _swim_ to get through water- if only for a minute or so. Other than that, he could walk through walls and such when he felt like it, and crash into them when he didn't feel like it- or when he wasn't paying attention, but that was beside the point.

Ace officially came to the conclusion that he was, in fact, oblivious, because he wanted to be. All he had seen for the last two years was his smiling brother's face. Now, he couldn't be so oblivious that he hadn't seen the look on Luffy's face when he wasn't training (did he mention how proud he was the Luffy had practically mastered the basics of all three forms of Haki in a year and six months?), so he knew Luffy had grieved, and he wasn't going to pretend that he didn't know Luffy missed him. _A lot_. Which somehow made Ace happy and sad all at the same time.

But he _was _apparently oblivious enough to assume that his little brother had finally managed to not only accept, but completely recover and move on from, Ace's death.

He mentally face palmed at the thought. It had taken Luffy long enough to get over Sabo's death- granted he was seven, and Ace was at fault there as well- so why he had assumed Luffy was fine two years later, after witnessing what he believed to be his only remaining brother's (Sabo better quit being a coward really soon or Ace was going to come back to life just to knock some sense into him) death _right smack dab in from of him_ after he had literally gone through hell and back (twice) to try to save Ace, was completely beyond his capability to understand. So he had completely dumbfounded himself. He deserved some sort of award for his stupidity level at the moment.

He had at least blindly hoped that Luffy was more okay with his death than _this_.

Now, his thoughts approached the shadow haunting him at the moment.

Apparently, Ace's forever missing luck during life had finally decided to make an appearance during his _afterlife_, although it was still minimal, and had just decided that he needed no more good luck. He fortunately had never before witnessed what he had just seen, and apparently Luffy went to great lengths to ensure his crew never noticed (Oh, how he wished he could smack Luffy for that).

Ace had just rudely discovered that his little brother was _in no way_ completely over his death.

He felt worse than an idiot for not noticing that.

It had started out as a normal day on the _Thousand Sunny_, and would probably end as a normal day to everyone else. Ace, however, would never get a normal day again until he could someone find a way to reach Luffy from the afterlife.

Ace was drawing a blank on what could have caused Luffy's… "relapse." If he could call hiding from the rest of the crew while biting back screams a "relapse." If he assumed correctly, Luffy must have had another nightmare last night, which the crew knew about and everyone here knew that _that _was completely normal. In fact, Ace was positive they would think it strange if Luffy _didn't _have nightmares from time to time. It was common knowledge that the "War of the Best", as it was called, was downright horrifying. And that Mugiwara no Luffy was smack in the middle of it all.

He needed to kill Luffy for making him worry like that, but his stress-induced heart felt revenge would have to, hopefully, wait a long time.

The previously stated nightmare must have been worse than usual, considering Luffy looked complete and totally drained and haggard, and had triggered quite the terrifying relapse, and Ace had to force the memories of Luffy's nails digging into his skin with brutal force out of his mind. Luffy's previous state of appearance had reminded Ace painfully of the end of the battle at Marineford. Which brought up all sorts of bad memories. He pushed them aside and worked unwillingly through his thoughts.

Luffy could, apparently, somehow _know_, when a relapse was going to happen, since he had looked increasingly worried, stressed, and fearful throughout the day (although Ace only noticed this in hindsight, his little brother might be a horrible liar, but he was a pretty good actor) and had finally appeared resigned as he disappeared from the eyes of his nakama and withdrawn to the depths of the _Sunny_ while waiting for the unavoidable and ever growing relapse to finally take over. Ace had been puzzled about why Luffy had moved away from his nakama for a while, until his eyes had spotted Luffy's trembling frame.

Shortly followed by the worst experience of Ace's life. Erm, afterlife.

When the relapse was _finally_ over, and Ace realized that no- weeks _had not _passed by, Ace was forced to wait as Luffy's breathing calmed, but nothing seemed to stop the violent trembling- or the blood streaming from where Luffy's nails had pierced his own skin.

When the two had finally emerged from what Ace named Luffy's Personal Torture Chamber (in an attempt to release some of the anger he held towards Luffy for _not_ seeking help from his crew and for suffering alone), Luffy had gone to stand by the rails and watch the waves to calm his mind while Ace sat on said rail and worked through his thoughts.

Which brought him back to the present.

Ace sighed as he finished sorting his thoughts and accepted what he had just been forced to realize.

And went back to blaming himself for being oblivious. To his mild guilty disappointment and sorrowful relief, the voice in his head did not argue with him this time.

The sun had completely set and the moon was approaching its peak by the time the last of Luffy's mask, that was hiding his lasting sorrow and pain, slipped away and his little brother gave a genuine smile, even if it was much less enthusiastic than usual.

Luffy discovered another purpose for his sleeves as he tugged them down a bit lower to hide the angry red marks where his nails had dug into and pierced his skin and tipped his hat down some to hide his still far away eyes. Just in case someone in the guys' room was still awake.

Now that Ace was thinking calmly, and less obliviously (screw it, he had been in denial), he realized something he had missed. Every time he had come to watch over Luffy, his little brother had disappeared for a few hours at least once a week. His eyes widened at the thought.

Ace snapped. Screw afterlife physics. He was going to help his little brother. No matter what he had to do he was going to make _certain_ the crew found out about these relapses of his. And _that he got the fucking help he needed_.

Now, Ace just needed a plan.

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><p><strong>I'm hopelessly cruel to Ace. Poor guy, I just had to put him in oblivious denial with his good luck popping up at all the wrong moments so he missed all of Luffy's previous relapses. And then he had to witness the worst one. And I didn't go too far in to detail with the relapse 'cause I wanted to make it seem like Ace wasn't keen to dwell on the actual relapse for too long.<strong>

**Now, I'm sure your like: "What does he do?" And I'm just going to grin evilly at you.**

**This is a one-shot, yes, and I originally intended to make it longer, until I realized that I was writing a mini-series on one MS word document. So this is like an unofficial "prologue" to an unwritten miniseries about ghost Ace trying to help his little brother recover. If you all want me to continue this, nag me in the reviews or PM me or something and I will, but if not, I'll just leave this as is.**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter of Ace discovering a hard reality. XD**

**Seriously, hope you enjoyed the chapter ! :P**

_**Edit:**_**My story "Relapse" is up. The continuation of this one-shot!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**** Bitter Reminders**

**The continuation of Chapter 10, "Relapse", is up now in a story under the same name. **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Piece… lucky Oda…

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><p>Apparently, he was the only one who noticed. Everyone else completely missed the random appearance of nine people in the middle of the war zone. Even Sengoku, who was standing guard right next to him. Although, judging by how still Garp had become, he had noticed too.<p>

But he didn't know why Garp seemed so surprised.

When the nine had appeared, they had seemed stunned and disoriented, shocked at suddenly popping up in the middle of a battle. And then Ace had faintly seen the look of horror on their expressions, and the one in the straw hat said something that made the other eight of them form a protective circle around him.

They weren't even fighting, but all of the Marines seemed to intentionally avoid them. It made Ace curious. Especially about this sharp pain in the center of his chest and a nagging thought in the back if his mind. It was like his mind was trying to remind him of something.  
><em><br>Something about that particular straw hat._

It slipped his mind again and he turned his neck slightly to look at his adopted grandfather. Garp looked like he was in pain. His expression was filled with grief and hope like he _just couldn't believe_ he was looking at those nine people. Ace blinked in confusion and turned to look at them  
>again, only to be greeted with the sight of Sabo finally reaching the platform.<p>

"Sabo!" Ace choked out, and his brother grinned and unlocked his cuffs just as Sengoku used his devil fruit to attack them.

The platform shattered under the force of the impact and Ace used some of his little strength to catch them Sabo in the air and land safely. "Thanks, you nutjob." Ace looked at his crazy brother as they took off across the war zone.

"You're just mad I saved you."

"No, I'm not." Ace growled, "Did you see them?"

"Yes." Sabo nodded in the direction of the nine as he knocked away a group of Marines. "They're just standing there. The one in the middle seems to be in shock or something. He kept repeating something that sounded a bit like 'not again', but..." Sabo trailed off uncertainly. "C'mon. We need to get you out of here first."

The two of them ran down the path the Whitebeard Pirates had cleared for them, feeling their relief increase with every step they took on their way out of Marineford.

They were almost to the ship when a blast of heat rushed past his ear as Sabo pulled him out of the way in the nick of time.

Ace couldn't remember what Akainu said anymore. The anger bubbled up from his stomach and spread through his blood. He could feel the fire licking along his arms as he glared at the Admiral.

"This era should be called 'Whitebeard!'" Ace shouted as he lunged for the Admiral. Pain coursed through his arm on contact and he gritted his teeth and pulled his arm away, fingers digging into the fresh burns on his skin. He faintly heard a familiar voice scream something at him. A _painfully_ familiar voice.

_Lu-?_

"You cannot beat me. I am that which burns even fire." Akainu's cold voice declared. Ace narrowed his eyes, and opened his mouth to retort, but Akainu was already moving. Ace turned in shock to see Sabo reaching for a vivre card that the wind had snatched away- _Ace's_ vivre card.

Time slowed around him and Ace leapt forward desperately, standing between the distracted Sabo and the ruthless Admiral.

Ace turned his head in shock when what sounded like a miniature explosion went just to his right.

The eight people who had just been standing guard around the figure with the straw hat had completely cleared a path all the way across the battlefield in under a second and were effortlessly holding back the surprised Marines.

The shock didn't last long when he felt intense heat less than an inch away from his spine, and he closed his eyes tensely.

But the moment never came.

The wind he felt was nothing more than an aftershock from the brutal impact that knocked the Admiral both backwards and down. Ace tumbled head over heels backwards and only stopped when Sabo caught him.

"Just run you idiot! Why didn't you _run_?!" The figure with the straw hat shouted angrily at him. Ace and Sabo froze and tuned to look at a painfully familiar face.

He looked so much older, but he could still tell it was him. The glint of old and faded scars seemed like miniatures suns to them in the faint light from the fires that dotted the battlefield. But what caught their attention was the x-shaped scar that marred his torso. They stared at it in horror and shock before the lifted their gazes to meet his onyx eyes.

_"Luffy?!"_

"Yes and no." Another voice said and they turned to see the eight who had been sheltering him from the war standing off to the side. Bodies of dead and injured Marines littering the ground in their wake.

"Captain." The green-haired man said, turning his one eyes to the standing figure of Akainu. Luffy nodded and turned back to the Admiral. Ace and Sabo's eyes widened when Luffy pulled off his precious straw hat and tossed it to... his crew.

Ace looked back and forth between his little brother and the group of people. "But, you can't be..." Ace said softly, unable to believe his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Ace, Sabo, and Luffy sprinted down the darkened street of Goa, all three of them laughing and smiling with victory. They had just rescued Sabo from his parents' house and slipped past the guards and were almost out of the city.<em>

_"We did it!" Luffy cheered joyfully. Ace and Sabo smiled at their little brother. "We're almost free!"_

_And then they came._

_Surrounding them from every side, pushing them away from each other. A blade glinted menacingly in the black night, the swift arc trailed through the air unnaturally. Blood flew through the air. That horrible scream._

_And pain. So much pain._

* * *

><p>Ace snapped his thoughts away from the memory, feeling the familiar empty pit by his stomach stir. Next to him, Sabo was trembling slightly, mouthing Luffy's name over and over again like he thought he was dreaming.<p>

Ace stared at… his little brother? He looked so much older. And, those eight people called him captain? He had his own pirate crew?

_But, we know that he didn't make it. How could he possibly be here? What-?_ Ace thought desperately, looking over at the eight.

"Robin?" The orange-haired woman asked, "Could you explain it to them?" The orangette turned with the others to push back yet another wave of persistent Marines.

The other woman nodded in reply and turned to them, only to glance momentarily at Luffy. Ace and Sabo followed her gaze, and couldn't believe their eyes.

Luffy- _Luffy_- was staring Akainu down with near murderous intent. "You won't get to him again. Not this time." Luffy hissed venomously through his teeth. "I won't let them go again."

Akainu glared down at him, "Some nameless boy can't stop me." The Admiral retorted evenly.

"My name is Monkey D. Luffy."

"Monkey-" Akainu repeated with a glance towards Garp.

"Dragon's son, then. More vile blood." Akainu took a step forward, and Luffy vanished before their very eyes. A moment later, Akainu was knocked off his feet yet again as Luffy reappeared.

"I won't lose this time, Akainu. I'm stronger than I was before."

Ace's eyes widened and he turned back towards Robin, desperate for answers. "What-?"

"None of us are from here. We were in a battle with a Devil Fruit eater, and winning, and the enemy cast us through dimensions just before he passed out. This war already happened in our time line." Robin gestured towards Luffy, and Ace glanced towards his little brother again.

"_Luffy?!"_ Sabo and Ace gaped. He didn't even look like he was _trying _to beat Akainu. The Admiral, while having caused some damage, didn't even seem to be hurting Luffy. Ace just stared. _This _was his "weak" little brother? The "crybaby" they'd taken care of? The overwhelming strength- the sheer _potential_- it just didn't seem natural. Ace's gaze lifted up some, and he felt something in him drop.

_Grief, anger, pain, hatred, loneliness, fear, desperation, determination._

"What happened." Ace phrased the question like a command, but didn't take his gaze off of his little brother.

"You died."

"What?!" Ace and Sabo jerked their heads around to look at the orangette.

"Oy, Nami. You didn't have to say it like that."

"How else would you have me say it, Usopp? How would _you _tell someone their counterpart died?"

"I don't know… just… nicer? I guess?"

Robin nodded, "Some… things… happened and we ended up separated. We were supposed to use pieces of a vivre card to meet back up in three days, but Luffy found out you were being executed, Ace."

A gust of wind and Ace heard an angry shout come from his left. He didn't look, afraid to turn and see the rest of this story in reality.

"He didn't have time to meet up with us. The execution date was too soon. Instead, he attempted to rescue you by breaking into Impel Down."

"What?! That's impossible! There's no way he could have gotten in." Sabo exclaimed.

"He managed to." The green-haired man said.

"What? How? That can't be right."

"Zoro's right." Robin replied, "When we were split up, he ended up on Amazon Lily."

"Wait, wait." Another shout rang through the air and a shot of yellow light whizzed by overhead. Ace glanced over and stopped short of asking his question. Luffy was fighting _all three _Admirals.

"Zoro, Sanji, go help him out. He's going to be too focused on Akainu, and we're practically friends with Aokiji now."

The two nodded and joined their captain in fighting the Admirals.

"Oy, Zoro, don't kill him." Luffy paused momentarily to call. Zoro nodded and Ace saw Robin cover a smile with one hand.

"He's taking his time." The- w_ait was that a skeleton?_- commented calmly.

"He'll be fine."

"Wait, _Amazon Lily?_ As in man-hating Maiden Island. And he's still alive?" Sabo turned the conversation back again.

Ace looked around, somehow feeling numbly unsurprised that the Marines were beaten and the rest of his crew was listening in. Whitebeard and a couple of his commanders were having a standoff with Sengoku, and Garp was just watching. It was almost comical.

"Yes. He apparently… be-friended Boa Hancock."

"You mean, she fell head over heels in love with him and he's clueless."

"Luffy's not so clueless anymore. I mean, he spent enough time running after we went to visit. And I've never heard someone say 'I'm not going to marry you' so many times in one day." _Was that a cyborg? _said.

"Blunt, Franky."

"She helped him get into Impel Down, but we don't know any more than that. Luffy doesn't like to talk about it much."

"The only things we know are that he was nearly poisoned to death in Impel Down, so he's practically immune to even the most lethal toxins now. And he got _that _scar at Marineford." _Was that a talking reindeer?_

"Poisoned- you mean Magellan? He ate the Venom-Venom Fruit. No one fights Magellan and lives. Not without an antidote. And they wouldn't give one to Luffy." Sabo replied with disbelief filling his expression.

Usopp shrugged helplessly, "He won't tell us anything."

Ace gave a puzzled glance towards the "battle" going on next to them. It seemed like it was already over. Although a large section of Marineford was missing and Luffy was watching Zoro and Sanji fight.

"How did he lose? I mean, Magellan is now for being as strong as an Admiral, but…" Ace cast another wary glance towards the beaten Admirals.

"This was over two years ago. When he came back from Marineford, he sent us a message: 3D2Y. We were to meet up in two years instead of three days. We spent that time training. We're close to Raftel now."

Ace froze, and turned his head slowly to look at Luffy. "Marineford?" He barely managed.

"We don't know what happened there either." Robin shook her head, her gaze helpless. "We know you weren't executed. But, how you died? If I had to guess from Luffy's reaction just now, it was exactly the same. But you were protecting Luffy instead."

Ace looked down, a rush of cold filling him. He couldn't believe it. How could he do that to his little brother? It _was_ to protect him, but couldn't he have pushed him out of the way or… or something? Ace closed his eyes, he knew he couldn't have. He barely had the strength to stay standing right now. How could he have possibly moved fast enough to do that?

"Ah." Ace muttered , unable to find anything to say.

"Was… was I there?" Sabo asked, and Robin gave him a slightly puzzled look.

"I'm not certain. Luffy never asks us about our pasts, so we don't him about his. He only cares about who we are now. Even if the chance comes up, we don't ask. I think he's rather grateful for that. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it."

"So… you don't know. I'm curious to know what happened to my counterpart though. If Ace and I are brothers there too, then I don't think I could just _not_ do anything."

"You're dead." An empty voice said to their left. Ace and Sabo turned to see Luffy, his eyes hidden by the shadow of the brim of his hat, walking towards them. Zoro and Sanji walked just behind him, and tensed at his words, worry flickering briefly to life in his eyes.

"What?" Sabo choked out.

Luffy looked up, staring blankly at the horizon. "You died when I was seven. Your father took you back against your will with the help of Bluejam's gang. Bluejam offered us a deal. We could help him move these crates for freedom, or… whatever else he had planned. Ace accepted the deal, believing him when Bluejam said you would come back if your truly weren't happy. The crates were full of oil and gunpowder. The nobles burned down the Grey Terminal because a World Noble was coming to visit. You decided to leave earlier than planned because you just couldn't stay anymore. But, you left just as the World Noble was arriving… and they blew up your ship." Luffy finished, his voice tense and his eyes closed.

"I… you didn't have to tell me… I'm so sorry, Luffy."

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." Luffy sighed, opening his eyes. "It was years ago. I… I can't cry forever." His eyes slid to glance at his crew.

"Luffy…" Ace started and Luffy visibly flinched at the sound of his voice. Ace took a step back, ready to apologize, but Luffy shook his head. "I'm fine." Luffy's voice was low and thick, and he refused to look directly at Ace and Sabo.

Ace and Sabo blinked and rubbed their eyes as the nine Straw Hats began to fade in and out unevenly.

"It looks like it's time to go back, Captain-san."

Luffy nodded.

"Luffy." Ace said, "I'm sorry we left you alone. We broke our promise. I-"

Ace and Sabo froze when Luffy looked at them. _Actually looked at them._

"I'm not alone. Not anymore." He said as he crew took a subconscious step closer to him. "You two will always be my brothers. But you're gone now. And I have another family to take care of."

And just like that, they were gone.

Ace and Sabo stared at the empty space where familiar strangers had just told them of a completely different life for the both of them. Their surroundings slowly came back to them, and they noticed that absolute still and quiet that was all around them. The Whitebeard Pirates were simply watching them, giving them time to adjust to their sudden reality.

Without a word, the two brothers turned in unison and headed towards where Whitebeard was waiting for them.

But none of the three brothers could quite get rid of the bitter tastes in their mouths.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, this isn't my favorite chapter. I figured I'd post it to see what other people think of it. If it's as horrible as I think it is, I'll take it down and possibly rewrite it later. If it's okay, I might leave it up. So, please review so I know what to do with this chapter. Jeez, it's long though.<strong>

**Notes:**

**Sabo actually died all those years ago.**

**This is closer to Raftel, so the whole crew is insanely-er powerful.**

**Yes, I meant to not focus on them fighting the Admirals, because this is from Ace and Sabo's perspective, and the story they're hearing holds there attention more, and they're subconsciously have difficultly looking at their dead little brother.**

**As above, yes, Luffy died in this universe as a kid.**

**I meant to put 'three' and not 'two' in the last sentence.**

**Some of those notes might be obvious, but I still feel like I need to point it out just in case.**

**I actually had trouble trying to hold a darker tone to this story, because it's not from Luffy's point of view, so Ace and Sabo aren't going to be quite as horrified because it never happened to **_**them**_**. Like… how people text and drive because the reality of how many people die on a daily basis from that doesn't hit home until it hits **_**them**_**. Yeah, human minds work in weird ways. That, and the Straw Hats have lived with this knowledge for a while now. It's upsetting to them, but they **_**always **_**seem to be bantering back and forth, so of course I can't just cut that out or it's total OOCness.**

**Again, please review so I know what to do with chapter. I **_**do hope**_** you liked the chapter.**

**I still feel like I'm forgetting something… meh.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**** He Who Fills the Empty Role**

**This chapter is dedicated to:**

**Mister8pyromane- **for being one of the people who convinced me to go back and read "Bitter Reminders" and realize that it was much better than I thought.

**SuperGuineaPig-** for being the other person who convinced me to go back and read "Bitter Reminders" and realize that it was much better than I thought.

**(Thank you both for your reviews.)**

**And special thanks to:**

**FlightWulf- **for being the very first person to read, review, follow/favorite my story and for being such a loyal supporter. Thank you FlightWulf! It really means a lot to me.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Piece.

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><p>He calls you his sun. The light that fills his world. The immortal blaze high in the sky. Unbeatable. Eternal.<p>

You are his goal. One he will never pass. Not until the end. Not until the day comes when he is strong enough. When he is King.

You are his protector. He always feels safe near you. Warm. Content. Unworried. A perfect place in a darker world.

You are his inspiration. The driving force that finally pushed him out to sea. The one whom he seeks to make proud. The one he will defend to his last breath.

You are part of the center of his world. The piece he revolves around. The place from which he draws strength.

You were his sun. The light that had filled his dark world. The mortal blaze low in the sky. Frail. Finite.

You were his goal. One he will never pass. Not even when he becomes strong enough. Not even when he is King.

You were his protector. He no longer feels safe without you. Cold. Fearful. Worried. Alone in a dark world.

You were his inspiration. The one who finally pushed him out to sea. The one whom he wanted to make proud. The one who he tried to defend.

You were part of the center of his universe. He wanders with nothing to hold him in place. He searches for his lost strength.

He is their sun. The light that fills their existence. The immortal fire commanding the sky. Unconquerable. Infinite.

He is their goal. That which they will never surpass. Not until they truly stand at his side. Not until he is King.

He is their protector. They feel sheltered near him. Comfortable. Happy. Unhurried. The safe place in a harsh world.

He is their inspiration. The driving force towards their dreams. He whom they wish to make proud. Who they will defend to the death.

He is the center of their worlds. The gravity that holds them. The strength that holds them up.

You were that which gave to him.

Now he has learned to give.

He is the sun, the goal, the protector, the inspiration, the center of the world.

He shines with his own light. He strives toward his dream himself. He cares with his own heart. He guides with his own words. He stands with his own strength.

And, for them, he will never fall.

* * *

><p><strong>Short and sweet- a letter to Ace about Luffy after Ace's death. <strong>

"**They" would be Luffy's crew.**

**Again, thank you to those who this chapter is dedicated to, but also thank you to all of you who read this story. It means so much to me; I couldn't possibly put it in words. I hope I never disappoint you in any of these chapters I write.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**** Marked**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Piece.

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><p>They weren't new.<p>

The tiny cuts of silver that glinted in the low candlelight weren't new. They were too faded to be new, and too numerous to be new. The shiny white bits of skin that suddenly stood out across his tanned epidermis were definitely not new.

But they hadn't been there on that horrible day two years ago.

When Bartholomew Kuma had sent them all soaring in different directions, they hadn't been there.

Was it strange to say that they had his scars memorized? How many he had and their general location? _No_, they thought. He was their captain. They were protective of him- they knew that much. So, maybe it wasn't so strange that they had his scars memorized.

But they had been so busy looking at the one that stood out the most, that they couldn't see the rest.

The _Thousand Sunny_ had been tossing in the waves for a while now, but the storm- thankfully- wasn't so rough that they all needed to be outside at the same time. Instead, one person kept watch for change while the rest of them waited impatiently for the storm to pass. Luffy's turn had just finished, and the drenched captain had just walked into the library when they had noticed.

It was the candlelight that had made them see it. The room was nearly completely dark from the churning clouds outside that covered the sky, and the candles were what provided their light. None of them minded, it was relaxing- somewhat cozy, in fact.

But none of that occurred to them now, as they sat in a circle around Luffy, who was watching them with puzzlement as they tugged off his wet cardigan. He snickered occasionally as their fingers ran with feather-light touches over the new-old scars, skirting the x that marred his chest.

They stared at each and every one, horrified as the number of scars slowly increased past anything he had ever received in one place before. "Luffy…"

"Just ask." Their captain's voice said quietly, and they looked up cautiously. He didn't seem nervous, or unwilling to think back to his time in those horrible places. On the contrary, he seemed content enough to answer their curiosity, as though it would be worse, in his opinion, to leave the scars without explanations.

So they pointed to the first new one. It was a simple slit of silvery skin. Nearly perfectly straight and completely insignificant.

"On our way out of Impel Down. I think someone nicked me."

The next. More circular than the last, but still thin.

"We ended up caught in this net while going in Impel Down- floor 3, I think- and when we got out of it, these blue gorilla things came after us. They're not hard to beat, but they can be kind of quick."

The third. It was a flat splotch on his side, like something blunt had hit him into something sharper.

"They had this weird cow beast thing there and it knocked me into a wall, and I'm pretty sure I landed on a broken shard of something."

The next followed the same routine, and the next, and the next. And again. And again. Another one, another answer.

They pointed to a rather strange set of scars. Four tiny dots in a perfectly straight line down his side, completely parallel to matching scars on his other side.

Luffy simply shook his head, his eyes shadowed. They hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave him alone with these horrible memories, but decided that he was reliving enough for them right now, and pointed to the next scar.

"Marineford."

They waited for a more thorough explanation for a moment.

"I don't remember how I got most of them from Marineford. There were lots of Marines there." He looked away for a minute, "The entire Navy, in fact."

They froze in place, eyes going to all the scars they hadn't asked about yet. They far outnumber the ones they _had _asked about, from Impel Down. _Far_ outnumbered.

The next.

"Impel Down, on the way out."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

"Amazon Lily."

They paused at the name. "The island the bear-guy sent me to."

_Uh-huh_, they thought, _Maiden Island_. (They'd ask about that later.)

"Marineford."

"Impel Down. I don't remember how."

"Impel Down, the vice warden was stubborn."

"Amazon Lily."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

"Marineford."

The next scar was just beneath the x.

"Marineford."

Their eyes slid up, looking, but refusing to point. Their colored orbs danced away from the x, searching for another scar to ask about, but their curious and worried eyes couldn't seem to focus on anything but what filled their gaze day after day.

"Akainu."

The name jarred them from their struggle, and they met his onyx eyes in shock. Disbelief and confusion was written across their expressions. But they kept quiet, they hadn't even asked- at least, not on purpose- and he was still telling them. Their eyes dropped to the scar again.

"Akainu gave me this scar. I don't remember it. Jimbei said I blanked out after-"

He halted, and it wasn't too hard to finish the sentence.

"Jimbei said that Akainu… he just came after…" his voice cracked, "after Ace and I. Ignored everyone else. Even Whitebeard. He says the Navy calls him Red Dog, because he doesn't give up until his target is dead."

Their eyes traced the scar. How ironic that it was shaped like an x.

They stopped asking him after that, simply letting him lean against them. He suddenly seemed exhausted, and he was shaking ever so slightly. A trickle of guilt ran through them for asking, but they were comforted by the knowledge that Luffy wouldn't tell them unless he trusted them, and he wanted to.

Nami ran an absent hand through his hair, trying to comfort him.

And then she noticed. There was a rough patch of skin, unnatural, just beneath her fingertips, hidden by his hair.

She turned a combed through the mess of black hair, and the other turned curiously to her as her fingers revealed the scar beneath his parted hair.

It was uneven and had spider web-like tendrils of silver that wound through his hair connected to it. They just stared. It looked like he hit his head so hard against a smooth floor that it had cracked. And the floor had probably caved too. But that didn't make sense- Luffy was _made_ _of rubber_. Blunt damage didn't hurt him. So what could possibly have done this? Even Chopper seemed stumped

"_Blackbeard."_

The name was hissed venomously through clenched teeth; rage dripping from every letter. Luffy's narrowed eyes were filled with hate, his hands clenched like all he wanted to do was hunt down Blackbeard. They resisted the urge to take a surprised step back at the near-murderous intent that was pouring from their captain.

"He ate a devil fruit that can cancel out other devil fruits. I found that out the hard way when the floor broke and my head was bleeding."

They stared at him, a mixture of jumbled emotions filling them from head to toe.

They tugged Luffy closer and examined the two scars regretfully.

No wonder they hadn't seen the smaller ones. They weren't nearly as important.

They were scars that were etched into their captain's skin.

These two were challenges.

These two were claims.

These two were marks.

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><p>"<strong>Mark": <strong>_**noun, definition 2- **_**a line, figure, or symbol made as an indication or record of something.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**** The Stories in the Clouds**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Piece.

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><p><em>How many people actually see them when they look up<em>? The straw hat wearing captain thought as he stared up at the vast blue that stretched across the world high above the ocean.

The ship was nearly silent since the crew had drifted apart to focus on their individual tasks. Luffy had decided to stretch out on the soft grass off deck and wait patiently for his crew to gather again. The only sound that could be heard was the occasional creak of wood and the sound of drowsy waves lapping over each other in the gentle sea below. The sun had vanished from Luffy's point of view a short while ago, and the sky was turning many different shades of overlapping colors. He was dimly aware of the growing black at the far end of the sky; instinctually waiting for the sky to change one final time.

_How many people see the stories they tell?_ Luffy wondered distantly as his eyes followed the white dot drifting through the sky. The cloud's shape changed again as it mixed with a golden-lined larger cloud; both of them becoming dyed by the fading rays of sunlight. His keen eyes picked out the next blurred design of the story and a shot of grief raced through his system as the tragic tale ended.

He tilted his head back slightly to catch of glimpse of the black sky as it slowly turned crimson. Luffy closed his eyes and breathed evenly in and out. It was time for the same story. The one that was told every day, unlike all the rest.

He slowly opened his eyes and greeted the red sky familiarly. The clouds held still for a moment as the sky observed him, and then began their tale anew.

Luffy watched expressionlessly as three small clouds danced happily through the sky, unaware of the black slowly creeping up on them. A hint of grief slipped on to his expression as a cloud so large it was like the ruler of the world in the air swallowed up one of the smaller clouds. The two others held still for a moment, their pure white shades darkening ever so slightly. The two little clouds moved slowly for a while, but picked up their usual speed until the larger of the two left the smaller to explore farther in the crimson sky. The smaller cloud drifted eagerly on its own path until it finally picked up the same speed the other had and continued along. Luffy smiled ruefully as the smaller cloud grew and came into contact with other clouds. Eight of them followed the cloud, the others quickly dispersed. And then Luffy flinched as a harsh wind blew the clouds far apart. And the first cloud sped desperately toward the larger it had known, but the largest cloud encircled it and that cloud could only watch helplessly as the other was torn to shreds.

And then the largest cloud drifted away and left the smaller to wander aimlessly on its own until the dark consumed the sky and Luffy could no longer see the cloud for the stars.

He slowly became aware of the eight presences around him, all eight of them looking towards the sky.

_So others do watch._

Luffy stood quietly and turned to walk to the men's room, and the others turned with him and each moved quickly to hide from the repeating sky.

Luffy let his hand rest on the cold metal of the doorknob for a moment. He turned his head slightly and watched as the last ray of sunlight illuminated the lost cloud, who had finally found the eight that had followed it before.

A pained smile crossed his expression and he lowered his gaze to watch the last flame of light flicker out.

And then the sky was dark.

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><p><strong>Does anyone else think this chapter is extremely morbid?<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15****: Screams**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Piece.

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><p>The screams were starting to get to him. It was strange. They hadn't seemed to affect him in Impel Down. Maybe it was because he was inches from his brother, who had been through the worst that horrible place had to offer. Maybe it was a good thing his crew wasn't here with him. Chopper would have been horrified. Especially when he gave up ten years of his life. They all would have been.<p>

The cold metal key in his hand slipped a bit and he tightened his fingers around it. It wouldn't do to drop it now. His head pulsed with every scream, every shout for help. Had Ace said something? He wasn't sure anymore. He could see Sengoku's mouth moving. How could he hear himself over the cries?

Luffy dropped to one knee and tried to unlocked the cuffs, some small part of him hoping the screams would leave him be if he did. He flinched backwards when a yellow laser snapped the key in two. He looked over. Kizaru. Of course. That bastard. He had purposely aimed for the key. Could Kizaru see how much the screams were starting to get to him? No. He was just taunting him. Luffy pushed past it. He couldn't leave this stand without his brother. Not now. Not when he had finally reached Ace.

The screams muffled Three's words as they fell, so Luffy just nodded, deciding to trust him. The click of the cuffs unlocking cut through the noise pulsing in his head. Luffy smiled when the flames around him chased away the cries. Finally. Peace and quiet, and…

"Ace!" He yelled happily.

The screams and shouts were duller now, not reaching him much. Just like in Impel Down. Ace ran next to him, protecting him from the noise that wanted to tear his ears and mind apart.

It wasn't long before the screams returned tenfold. Pounding on his eardrums with disorienting force. Cries of hope and desperation, anger, grief. Is that? It is. Ace's vivre card. Why couldn't he move? Oh, right. He was too tired. He wanted to do something. What was it again? The shouts wouldn't let him think clearly. Grab something. What? Oh, the white thing. Paper. Vivre card. Ace's vivre card.

Too late. It was gone. And so was the noise. He looked up. Red was all he could see. Blood and magma and more blood. Why couldn't he move? Do something? Shout? Shout. His voice broke. The screams had stolen his voice. How could he help now? Ace. Ace. Ace. Why was there so much blood again? The screams. He wanted them back. He didn't want to hear this. Why? Why? Why did he have to hear these words? Ace would be fine, like he always was. Why had the noise left him now?

Oh. There they are. Faint and all around him. Not in his ears now. Wait, there was one. Louder than the rest. Who was it? It sounded like something horrible had happened to them. He looked up from the blood on the ground. There were those screams again. Who was it? Oh, right.

He was screaming. And screaming. He wanted to stop. It hurt to shout so much. His throat felt like it was about to split.

Why could he still hear the screams? He knew it wasn't him. All he could taste in his throat was blood. Why were his screams still ringing in his ears? Why did it feel like it had been so long? Why wouldn't the screams fade? What happened? He couldn't remember anymore. The screams had stolen his memories now too.

But when he woke up, he was still screaming.

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><p><strong>Ugh. I'm going to go douse myself in fire and alcohol. I feel <strong>**_really _****bad for writing that. Poor Luffy. Right, I think I'm going to go sit in a corner for a while.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:****Another (Bitter) Chance**

**This is Chapter 11 told from Luffy's POV as requested by TigerGoddess19.**

**Just a reminder, in this universe, both Ace and Sabo died in Luffy's world, and Luffy died when he was younger in the world this takes place in.**

**2****nd**** reminder- Luffy and crew are also close to Raftel, so they're absurdly powerful n' stuff.**

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><p>Luffy easily dodged another incoming blow, grinning. This was more fun than challenging, and both he and his crew only had a couple scrapes and bruises.<p>

The enemies were odd ones for sure. Dressed in neon clothes that clashed even more than Buggy the Clown's favorite outfit. They had seemed so confident- perhaps overly so- at the beginning. Like the name of their pirate crew would be enough to send the Straw Hats cowering away. Luffy had come across pirates like these before, but something felt off to him. Like there was an actual reason so many pirates _really_ _were _afraid of this crew.

Luffy sent the tall, lanky, purple- haired man flying away again, laughing when he spun like a corkscrew. It didn't make sense. Why were so many people afraid of them? Luffy kept up a front to keep his crew relaxed, but he was careful to maintain a fair distance between this enemy and himself; especially his crew. He kept his guard up, waiting and watching for anything unusual.

By the time their enemy dragged himself out of the rubble, breathing heavily through a high nose too thick for his face, Luffy realized he was too late.

His eyes had turned a disturbing shade of crimson and he shook like a madman with a cruel cackle.

"I've found it!" He howled victoriously and Luffy dashed over to the rest of his crew in a panic, standing in front of them protectively.

"Break!" He snarled viciously, "Relieve your nightmares and break! Snap like the weak soul you are! Fall to your own demons!"

Light as red as blood filled the space and Luffy struggled to keep his eyes open, blinded. His vision went dark with the feeling of being dragged through pipe too thin to accommodate him. A few shouts of panic and surprise escaped his crew and he felt their arms brush against his own, subconsciously gathering near each other in a protective effort.

Luffy struggled to remain conscious, but one by one, their minds slipped away.

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><p>A dull roar pounded on Luffy's ears, growing louder and clearer as he clawed his way his way to consciousness. He blinked open his eyes to a blur of white and blue and… blood. Luffy flinched away from the red substance, nearing falling over when he scrambled into an unsteady sitting position.<p>

He focused on his crew immediately, breathing a sigh of relief when they all sat groggily up and helped each other to their feet.

Luffy stood, looking around with unseeing eyes. They were surrounded by a mass of bodies, shouts, and explosions; just barely inside a ring of space. Luffy blinked. A battlefield. But why was it so familiar?

His eyed trailed along the cracked stone paths until he looked up to see familiar giant blue letters burn themselves into his eyes.

"No…" He whispered, his eyes moving up to the execution stand where a painfully familiar face kneeled, chained with sea prism stone cuffs.

_Marineford._ Luffy thought dully, his mind unable to comprehend what was in front of him.

"Luffy?" His name echoed through the air, but it fell on deaf ears.

Luffy stared, and stared. He couldn't wrap his head around it. He was here again? Ace was alive?

A shot to his right. In the _exact same place _as last time.

Luffy's glazed eyes faintly recognized the barely hidden horrified expressions on his crew's expressions. They were worried for him, stunned that he had gone through this. Concerned about how he was reacting. Why couldn't he pull himself together? He'd promised to never crack in front of them, right?

"Not again." The words croaked past his lips and the others sprang into action, trying to give him room and time in a protective circle while hoping to find a way to soothe him at the same time.

It was the startling shock of familiar blonde hair that finally pushed him past his breaking point. _He _couldn't be here…could he?

A flash of blinding golden light burned away his shock, but Luffy found he still couldn't move from his spot as Sengoku attacked _both _of his dead brothers.

Luffy unconsciously directed his gaze to Akainu, tensing in place.

_Akainu was responsible for what would happen next._

Ace and Sabo ran away from the execution stand, easily brushing away enemies.

_Akainu was the one who had chased them down. _

Akainu moved, charging brutally through the throng of bodies, downing both allies and enemies.

_Akainu was the one that had hurt his brother. Killed Ace._

Ace turned at the taunts and lashed out in anger.

"No!" The scream tore out of Luffy's throat

_Akainu was to blame._

Akainu turned his target to Sabo and lunged. Ace moved.

He was not the only one.

Luffy stepped forward, and his crew leapt into action on his silent command. The endless throng of enemies vanished from his sight in a single second and Luffy tore across the oddly silent battlefield in an enraged frenzy, switching instinctively into second gear in his blind fury.

A moment later, his Haki infused fist slammed into the Admiral's side. Akainu rocketed away from Ace, a hairs breadth from his brother's back, and slammed into a massive pile of rubble. Luffy landed with the aftershock, an explosion of wind erupting in a swirl of tangled air that knocked back everything within thirty feet of him.

Luffy's pulse thudded painfully in his ears, the war around him going silent in a red-tinged haze of hate. The soft crackle of tumbling rubble drew his attention, and Luffy snapped his head around to look at the two figures stumbling in place.

"Just run, you idiot! Why didn't you _run_?!" Luffy shouted in snappish irritation. A familiar black hole inside of him stirred at the sight of Ace and dug its claws painfully into Luffy's heart. He pushed it away, but couldn't continue looking straight at his two dead brothers.

Luffy felt rather than saw Sabo and Ace stare at each and every individual inch of him, lingering on the x that marred his chest. Luffy didn't have to wonder why. He had seen the painful glint of tortured recognition in their eyes. In this world, he was dead. Luffy wondered momentarily if that fact should bother him, but he felt only an interested numbness. He didn't care to know how or why he died, it was just a fact to be accepted. It this world, he has died in his quest to be the Pirate King. And just as he always said, that was fine with him.

_"__Luffy?!" _Ace and Sabo exclaimed in shock, and said captain barely retained a shudder at the sound of their voices. It was something that always haunted his dreams, turning the good ones into nightmares. Every time he dreamt of them, whenever they tried to say his name, it was completely soundless. A mute spot in a world of color. Luffy had long since aligned it with a sort of unhealthy craving to hear their voices saying his name again. It was the only proof they were alive.

It was proof that this wasn't a dream.

"Yes and no." Robin answered for him, and Luffy gave her a slight grateful nod in return. He barely twitched at the sight of the defeated ranks of marines. It was commonplace nowadays. The sight brought back a rush of memories as well. The Straw Hat Pirates had brought Marineford to its knees once before. It looked like they got to do it again.

"Captain." Zoro remarked in a half warning with one side glance to the Admiral who was just starting to stagger to his feet. Luffy resisted a satisfied smirk at the sight. He had never surpassed his hatred for Akainu, and it had turned into some sort of demon that circled in a locked cage inside of him; impatient and calling for blood. Just seeing Akainu out of the corner of his eyes made his blood boil and the creature stir. During their last fight, Akainu had tried every underhanded tactic in the book, including going after Luffy's crew. It wasn't a mistake he tried to repeat. Luffy pulled his hat off and tossed it to his crew. He didn't trust himself to be conscious enough to protect it like he should at the moment. Besides his crew might need it more later.

Luffy bared his teeth against a snarl and waited impatiently for the Admiral to stand. The creature in his blood was demanding that Akainu pay for what he did, for what he tried to do again. Luffy didn't have the strength to fight it. Rather than dull, his senses sharpened with his building anger, the sights and sounds he didn't need to hear fading away with every passing moment.

"You won't get to him again. Not this time." Luffy growled through clenched teeth, venom dripping from every word. "I won't let them go again."

"Some nameless boy can't stop me." Akainu retorted evenly, a confident glare marring his expression.

"My name is Monkey D. Luffy." Luffy spat. _Remember it._

Akainu's gaze flickered momentarily towards Garp, "Monkey-" the Admiral mused, "Dragon's son, then. More vile blood." One assured step forward.

Something in Luffy snapped with a soft click. That was the same reasoning that had caused Ace's death. Ace's death at the hands of Akainu. Luffy lunged forward on instinct, not even bothering to switch into second gear. He dashed forward with inhuman speed, vanishing from sight. A moment later Akainu went flying again as Luffy's hit connected and Luffy dropped to the ground, landing firmly on his feet.

"I won't lose this time, Akainu. I'm stronger than I was before." Luffy managed to utter with the last of his control. Luffy caught the warning glance in Zoro's eye briefly, and he nodded just before the red haze swallowed his vision. Akainu would pay, but Luffy wouldn't lose himself to revenge.

Luffy swapped one attack for another, over and over again, weaving in and out and dodging attacks before Akainu had the chance to launch them. His Haki trained senses picked up the flickering emotions swirling behind him, the strongest coming from Ace and Sabo. Luffy brushed them away as he launched another attack, side stepping behind Akainu for better aim.

_One._

The ground cracked and broke apart from the force of the hit. Luffy clenched his teeth against the demon straining against the bars of its cage.

_Two._

Akainu took a brief opening, resorting quickly to his underhanded tricks and aiming for the two distracted and stunned brothers. A wordless shout of anger escaped Luffy and he moved to block the Admiral, the force and speed of the impact creating a whirlwind of debris and tainted air.

The lock on the cage cracked.

_Three._

Luffy snarled in anger and dodged a simultaneous attack of light and ice. He glared at the other two Admirals. The beast growled at him and Luffy focused his attention on Akainu again. He snapped wordlessly aloud in frustration when the three attacked him at once. It was easy to dodge, but reduced his attack time.

_Four._

Zoro and Sanji appeared next to him, driving the other two Admirals away. Zoro placed his hand briefly on Luffy's shoulder and the familiar weight of a straw hat settled on to his head, and the Captain snapped back to reality. The demon roared in frustration and clawed at the lock. Luffy ignored it. "Oy, Zoro, don't kill him." Luffy paused momentarily to call when he spotted him fighting Aokiji.

_Five._

Luffy finished counting and let out a long, slow breath and the three pirates leapt at the Admirals simultaneously. The ground shattered apart with a crack like a full scale explosion when the stone connected with the excess force of the hits.

Luffy dropped to his sandaled feet again, relaxing his stance. Akainu was halfway across the battlefield and out cold, lying in the middle of a crater larger than one of his own. Luffy momentarily cursed and blessed his luck. The demon in him wanted Akainu to land in the water. Luffy? Not quite the same intent.

He pushed the rage away and took another slow breath, watching Zoro and Sanji fight. The demon grumbled, but quieted and curled contently in its cage.

Luffy paid little attention to the conversation behind him, taking another moment to silence his thoughts. Zoro and Sanji waited patiently for him, and the three of them began to walk back.

"So… you don't know. I'm curious to know what happened to my counterpart though. If Ace and I are brothers there too, then I don't think I could just _not _do anything." Luffy closed his eyes at Sabo's comment. He supposed it was unavoidable, but the bitter hollowness that had been asleep for so long had shifted the moment Luffy had seen Sabo running through the crowd of battling Marines and pirates.

"You're dead." Luffy answered in a hollow voice, tilting his head down so his hat shadowed his eyes. He felt his crew tense in worry. This was try first they had heard of this, and dead brothers had become a sort of predetermined taboo subject among them. He knew they were immediately concerned for him. It was the way they worked.

"What?" Came the choked reply from Sabo.

Luffy drove the images from his head and stared blankly at the horizon while he spoke. He didn't have the strength to look at them. "You died when I was seven. Your father took you back against your will with the help of Bluejam's gang. Bluejam offered us a deal. We could either help him move these crates for freedom, or… whatever else he had planned. Ace accepted the deal, believing him when Bluejam said you would come back if you truly weren't happy. The crates were full of oil and gunpowder. The nobles burned down the Grey Terminal because a World Noble was coming to visit. You decided to leave earlier than planned because you just couldn't stay anymore. But you left just as the World Noble was arriving… and they blew up your ship."

Tense silence filled the air for a moment, and Luffy shivered. Part of him wanted to run and never look back, but another wanted to never move from this spot. Both of his brothers were _right there_, but it was like they were behind a wall of unbreakable glass.

"I… you didn't have to tell me… I'm so sorry, Luffy." Sabo whispered.

Luffy closed his eyes, drinking in the sound of Sabo's voice. Emotions lashed like a tempest in his mind; an endless back and forth. A warm glow soothed him as he thought back to his childhood days, and how Sabo and Ace had protected them.

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." Luffy replied to Sabo and opened his eyes. The World Nobles were to blame. Besides, this Sabo was alive. "It was years ago. I… I can't cry forever." Luffy glanced at his crew. He had a new family to protect now. And he wouldn't let anything harm them as long as he was still breathing.

"Luffy…" Ace started to say. Luffy flinched away, shocked out of his thought process. It was still much too soon for Luffy to hear Ace's voice without surprise, but his ears listened anyway. Luffy suppressed bitter tears, fighting against the burning sensation in the back of his throat. It had been years since Ace's death. He couldn't break down just because of a voice now.

"I'm fine." Luffy managed quietly, his voice thick. He still couldn't manage to look straight at Ace and Sabo.

Luffy blinked in surprise when he realized he could see straight through his hand. He turned it over experimentally, but it continued to flicker in and out of a solid state.

"It looks like it's time to go back, Captain-san." Robin spoke up, and Luffy nodded. He had guessed this would happen eventually. And if it didn't, then they would have to find a way back. As much as he missed his brothers, his home wasn't here anymore. It was on Sunny, with Zoro, Usopp, Nami, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky, and Brook.

"Luffy, I'm sorry we left you alone. We broke out promise. I-" Ace's words were rushed, like he had too much to say in too little time.

Luffy couldn't help it any longer, he had to _see_ them one last time. Before they were gone for good all over again. "I'm not alone. Not anymore." Luffy soothed Ace. He restrained a grin when his crew took a step closer to him and the warm glow grew even more. "You two will always be my brothers. But you're gone now. And I have another family to take care of."

The yawning darkness that had been creeping along at the edges his vision swallowed him whole, but not before Luffy had memorized Ace and Sabo's faces.

They had both seemed stunned, which was to be expected. A hint of grief had colored the back of their eyes, and Luffy was certain he had the same expression. But it was the slight appearance of happiness when he told them he had found another family that tore at his heartstrings. It was too much like when he was a little kid.

But just when the traitorous thought that just maybe, just _possibly_, he might want to _stay_, the world vanished and he blanked out.

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><p>Luffy's eyes opened to the familiar sight of the destroyed, one-story stone building. It was completely abandoned now, with not a single person lingering among the stock-still piles of rubble except for the Straw Hat Pirates.<p>

Luffy got to his feet and wandered through the maze of broken stone, searching for the rest of his dysfunctional family. As per their usual strange luck, they all walked into the same room- well, what was left of it- at the same time.

"Luffy!" They exclaimed at the same time Luffy stepped foot in to the room.

"What?" Luffy asked with a puzzled stare.

The following bombardment of worried questions sounded like a mixture of garbled language and barely coherent horror-filled remarks about what he had lived through on his own in Marineford.

Luffy let them wear out their questions, crossing his arms patiently and waiting for them to calm.

"Minna, I'm fine." Luffy said evenly. It was partially true. Some part of him was filled with satisfaction and relief- happiness- that he had successfully-_finally_- saved Ace. And he had seen Sabo again too.

But the grief that they were gone again- probably forever- lingered just out of sight. Circling behind him predatorily. It had always been there, but it was wide awake now. Pacing back and forth impatiently. Luffy had dealt with it before during the crew's separation for two years, but he wasn't sure how he would make it without his family noticing this time.

Luffy was shaken out of his thoughts with a half-feral snarl of surprise- something he had become accustomed to at this point (Raleigh blamed himself for the change in Luffy's behavior- said it was his fault for keeping Luffy away from people for too long, but the captain brushed it off. It was a behavior he had had from his younger years- a survival instinct). Luffy clamped his teeth around the sound when he realized that he was being _hugged_- not attacked. It came out as a sort of strangled squeak, an inaudible gasp of surprise perhaps. He mentally breathed a sigh of relief- another secret safe. It wasn't that he didn't trust his crew- but even Ace had freaked out the first time Luffy had snarled. _"It doesn't sound like you,"_ Sabo had explained, _"he's just surprised. You're his baby brother, he protects you; not you protect yourself." _

Luffy pushed away the memory and blinked in confusion at his crew, "Minna?"

"Baka!" Nami shouted, "You think we believe you're perfectly fine?!"

Luffy froze in place, stiffening despite his hard-learned self-control._ "The enemy will take advantage of your emotions, and body language is always the signal. Learn to control that and you're one step closer to winning the battle before it has even started." _Raleigh's voice echoed in his ear. Why were all of these memories flooding him?

"But I-"

"Don't you trust us? We can see it, Luffy."

_"__One day you'll find your closest friends in the whole world. And if you place your trust in them? They'll become your family."_ Makino's voice this time.

"You help us so much, Luffy. Let us help you." Robin said, her normally steady voice tilting somewhat unevenly.

_"__He might be a bit much for all of you to handle… but please take care of him for me."_ Ace's voice now.

Luffy was trembling in place now, barely suppressed tears burning the back of his eyes and shaking his shoulders.

_"__You know, Luffy… even Ace knows it's okay to cry from time to time. Especially when you need to." _Sabo's comforting voice now.

Luffy broke; the firm mask he'd had in place coming crumbling down like an unsteady sandcastle.

And that's where he stayed. Down on his knees, surrounded by piles of rubble scattered all around, in a ring of his nakama's arms, screaming out his brothers' names over and over again.

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><p><strong>Uhhhh-huuhmmmm…. *clears throat guiltily* I'm hopeless at this point. I just have to torture Luffy. Ugh, <strong>**_help me_****.**

**Hope you enjoyed, TigerGoddess19.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:****Alone**

**Seriously, guys? 62 favorites and 50 follows? That's... that's... AWESOME! Thank you all so much. This chapter is dedicated to all of you.**

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><p>Luffy's eyes snapped open with a start, jarred out of his already forgotten dream.<p>

The burning sensation in the back of his throat signaled painful tears. Luffy swallowed roughly, ignoring the tense scorching sensation that dragged downwards with the swallow. He sat up and pushed his hat onto his head with a silent breath somewhere between and huff and a sigh and waited patiently for a moment until the empty, cold sensation in his stomach faded.

The men's quarter was silent and empty. The others had let him sleep in again today. Luffy clicked his teeth together disappointedly. Zoro had probably seen him get up and go outside last night. Luffy hadn't managed to fall asleep easily and had decided to allow the scents and sounds of the ocean soothe him.

Luffy hopped out of his hammock and stretched, allowing his nose and memory to guide him towards the delicious scent making his mouth water. Only just after he had stepped inside the kitchen did it occur to Luffy that the ship was completely silent and he had not seen nor detected a single person on the ship. Luffy blinked at the plate in front of him. It was piled with his favorite things, but the concern swirling in him was driving away his appetite. Luffy shook his head to clear it. _Think_, he told himself sternly. He had faith in his nakama.

Luffy brushed away the returning feelings of his dream- or rather, nightmare- and sat down at the table and began to distractedly eat his food. Sanji would skin him alive if he didn't anyway.

They had docked at a rather lively town last night. It was quite expansive and alight with a festive mood. The roofs on the houses were every color of the rainbow plus some, and the people had been walking around in silly costumes, shouting something in another language to each other. They didn't mind the presence of that Straw Hats, and had invited them to stay and celebrate with them at the festival that was supposed to take place in three days. Luffy had agreed after debating it for a moment. His dysfunctional family was tired and they had been out on the ocean for two and half weeks. As much as they all loved Sunny-go and the sea, being trapped on a ship for that long had even Usopp praying for Luffy's luck to grant them some insane adventure. It would be a good break for them, and they would be rested and ready to go after a week spent vacationing.

Luffy stood up after he finished eating, and walked out of the kitchen. As many times as he told himself he that nothing was wrong, and nothing was going to happen, he couldn't fool himself. That wasn't why he had a shadow following him around right now.

_Luffy was curled up on the windowsill of the window in his makeshift room. He stared forlornly out the window of the Party Bar at the vacant spot where a massive ship had been docked earlier in the week. He knew Shanks would be back, but…_

_A peal of laughter drew his gaze downward. A group of children ran around outside, dust and dirt kicking up around their feet. They passed a soccer ball back and forth between them. Luffy unconsciously placed one hand on the window for a moment. One of the kids noticed him and pointed at his window. A flicker of uncertainty and confusion shot through and vanished from Luff's system in a split second. The kid pointing at him smirked and said something to the kid closest to him. The group of five laughed and Luffy leapt back when a rock banged off the windowpane in front of him, causing the glass to shudder._

Luffy shook his head fiercely, making the world spin around him. "Stop it." He growled to himself. "That was forever ago."

Luffy shifted uncomfortably in place, moving from one foot to the other as he stood on the grassy deck. Luffy sighed and looked around. The silence pounded in his ears, pressure building with every pulse. "Maybe they left a note." Luffy said aloud, just to break the silence, "Or, or a clue!" Luffy smiled and a mysterious look entered his eyes, "Detective Luffy is on the case! Shishishi!"

_Luffy walked through the village, looking around for Makino. She had promised to meet him to welcome Shanks back to port. Luffy paused when he thought he spotted her. "No." Luffy muttered, peering past the group of adults blocking his view._

_"__Hey. It's him." Luffy's twitched slightly at the remark. A single glance out of the corner of his eye confirmed his suspicions. This was about himself._

_"__What? Who are you-…oh. You mean…" The woman's voice dropped to a whisper, but Luffy was close enough to hear, "the freak."_

_Luffy waited for a moment, pretending he hadn't heard, and turned and ran off, faking looking for Makino._

Luffy scratched his nails across the top of his head, his hair running oddly through his tightening fingers. "Enough." Luffy hissed to himself in a low voice. He stomped out of the men's quarter, almost grateful Franky wasn't here to yell at him.

_"__What're you so happy about, eh?! You think it's good to be a freak made out of rubber?" Mayor demanded. Luffy ignored the comment, he knew Mayor didn't really mean it. He was just grumpy. He didn't let on that regardless, the words hit and mark and stung like a wasp. It was too close to-_

"No, no, no, NO!" Luffy roared, slamming one fist into the nearest wall. The Adam Wood shuddered and creaked in complaint. Luffy was lucky he had pulled his strength at the last moment. Franky would have his hide is he made a hole in the ship. "Sorry, Sunny." Luffy apologized, trying to turn his thoughts onto a different train of thought.

_Luffy slipped on a moss-covered log and immediately reached up and clung on to the nearest object- a thin vine. The river roared past his feet, tumultuous in the pouring rain. He looked up from the churning water and blinked through the rain. He had lost sight of Ace. Luffy reclaimed his balance and hopped across the rest of the river like he had seen Ace do a million times._

_Luffy trailed slowly along the path Ace took every day, but he knew it was hopeless. Ace moved so much faster than him, and Luffy still hadn't memorized the whole path. He was all alone in the forest again. Luffy turned around after a few more minutes and began heading back towards the river- and back to his makeshift home. He wondered idly if he would ever catch Ace. Or would he be alone forever?_

"NO! SHUT UP!" Luffy screamed, down on his knees. His head rested against the cool glass of the aquarium as clawed at the sides of his head. "GO AWAY!" A trickle of blood sliding down his wrist to his elbow shocked Luffy out of his wild trance and he staggered toward Chopper's office. He had seen Chopper work enough times to know how to clean up a simple cut. Luffy cleaned the blood off of his arm and patiently worked with the cut until it stopped bleeding. It took a while, since it was a head wound.

_Luffy stared out the familiar window of the Party Bar. The spot where the ship of Red-Haired Shanks was once docked would not be filled by it again for a long, long time- if ever. A stone bounced off the windowpane in front of him, and Luffy half-smiled at the irony. His eyes slid down to watch the kids point and laugh at him, trading harsh words he was glad he couldn't hear. The kids grew bored with him and left quickly, tossing another rock at his window._

_Luffy flinched when it came into contact with the glass and a hairline crack appeared. Luffy stared at it for a minute. It was perfectly aligned with the spot of the port he had just been staring at._

_Luffy blinked slowly. He really was alone now. Wasn't he?_

Luffy splashed the disinfectant into the wound, clenching his teeth in pain as the burning sensation chased away the memory. "Stop it." He moaned, "Please, stop it." The silence pounded on his ears, moving in time with his pulse.

"I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone." Luffy chanted, "I'm not alone. I'm not alone."

_Luffy stopped in place, staring through the endless trees. Once again, Ace had all but vanished from view. Luffy sat down in the forest floor, waiting almost numbly to see if he could still hear Ace moving through the trees._

_The silence gave him his answer, but still, Luffy didn't move. He had nowhere else to go. Garp had taken him away from Makino for some reason, and as scary as his Grandpa was, he knew that it was probably for a good reason. He had told Luffy that Ace was supposed to be his big brother, but… but…_

_Luffy had never felt more alone in his life._

"I'm alone. I'm not alone. I'm alone. I'm not alone. I'm alone. I'm not alone. _I'm alone. I'm not alone. _I'm… alone. I'm… not… alone. I'm, I'm… I-" Luffy fell silent. He had somehow put up what he had used to clean his wound and made it out on to deck. He was curled up on his side, lying still on the grass.

Luffy didn't move for a while. His thoughts had finally fallen as silent as the ship around him.

_Why is it so quiet?_ He wondered. _Oh, right. My crew went somewhere. Maybe I should look around again._

Luffy stood up robotically and walked towards the makeshift library. He had been about to close the door when he heard the first sound that shattered the silence that had been pressing on his ear drums.

It broke with beautiful clarity and Luffy dashed out on to deck again as quickly as he possibly could.

"Luffy?" Zoro asked when he spotted him. Luffy was rooted to the spot, a sense of disbelief washing oven him. It was a quickly followed with relief.

"Luffy? Are you alright?" Zoro repeated in concern, lowering the bag Luffy had just noticed he was carrying.

Usopp appeared next, quickly followed by the rest. "What are you talking about, Zoro? I'm sure he's-" Usopp began and caught sight of Luffy, "Oy, oy. Luffy, he's got a point. Are you okay?"

Luffy looked drained and pale, trembling just barely in place. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was slightly open like he had seen a ghost.

"Luffy?" Nami asked next, her tone worried.

Luffy snapped out of his trace, "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine, minna."

They appeared uncertain, and Luffy couldn't quite place why, but they finally accepted his answer, "Alright, Captain. If you say so."

"So, uh-hum… where have you all… been?" Luffy asked slowly, the memories swirling in his head quieting as the silence faded away. He was desperate to keep them talking. Anything was better than the silence.

Zoro lifted one bag with a half-sheepish smile. Luffy blinked at the strange expression. That wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd see on Zoro's face.

"We… uh. Um…" Nami started uncertainly, "Well… today is the anniversary of the day we finally met up at Sabaody… so we thought we'd do something special, because, well… you know…" Nami trailed off, and Luffy noticed that each of them were carrying multiple bags of items.

Luffy blinked, and studied their expressions. They all seemed hopeful and concerned, like they didn't want to mention _why_ today was special because it was connected with the _cause _of why they even had to of had a day like this. But the concern was all directed towards him.

Luffy relaxed his tense posture. They were throwing a party because they wanted to keep him happy and entertained so he couldn't dwell on what had happened two years ago. Luffy didn't tell them that he would have been fine anyways. He knew what today was, but he only ever associated it with the joy of seeing his family of misfits again.

Instead he smiled, "Shishishi! Sounds like fun!"

The relief and happiness that appeared on their expressions made the lie worth it.

* * *

><p>Luffy sipped out of his cup, grateful his crew were too entertained to notice that he wasn't busy pulling his usual stunts during a party. His own mood had slowly darkened behind the light-hearted mask he had placed solidly around himself. The memories he had struggled to drive off all day were circling endlessly in his head, waiting for the mental screams he had to finally break past his defenses and escape through his lips. Luffy clenched his teeth for good measure.<p>

He could easily see through his crew's façades. They believed their own illusions, so intent on pretending they had begun to think the lie was real. He could see the sorrow of the cheerful reminder of those two years circling inside them like some lone, hungry shadow. A feral wolf eager to begin the hunt; a poisonous snake just waiting for the perfect chance to strike. But the wolf was locked in a cage; the snake in an unbreakable glass tank. The mere presence of the other members of the crew was enough to hold back the ravenous shadows. So they waited, and waited, and slunk deeper into a hidden corner.

But it was enough. The illusion was enough to keep Luffy's crew happy. So he went along with it; allowing the hungry wolf to devour him and letting the snake bite him again and again. All they had to do was stay quiet. Hidden. They could feast as they wished, as long as it didn't shattered the perfect dream in front of him.

Smile and laughter and music and cheers and joy and happiness and belonging.

An illusion turned real. Fake, but real in the eye of the beholder.

He stayed until every last one of them fell asleep. The music was quiet, the grins had turned to dream-soaked smiles. The laughter had become part of the wind. His deranged wolf and his snake had been filled, and the silence had returned.

He carried his crew to their beds, careful not to disturb their slumber. The illusion had worked, pushed away the sorrow. For a time at least. Luffy simply wished it worked for him as well.

But if this is what they needed, then he would take it in stride on this day every year until the wolf and the snake had finally won. He wasn't under any illusions there. His demons were too strong to be pushed back with the illusion of happiness. They would win eventually, and tear him apart. His crew wouldn't be around for it. He'd go somewhere else. It'd seem natural. Ordinary. Somehow.

Luffy walked out on to the deck and climbed mechanically on to the figurehead in one smooth jump. Oops, looked like his mask was still in place.

The rabid wolf fixed it for him.

It crumbled in to a million pieces and splashed silently into the ocean below. Invisible blood poured from the wounds his demons had torn in to him.

But he didn't cry out.

His voice broke with the mental shriek of misery and pain.

The night air remained still and unbroken.

_"…__and being alone is worse than being hurt!"_

The memory swirled in front of his eyes, blurred into an incomprehensible mix of darkening colors.

_"…__being alone is worse than…!"_

_"…__alone is worse…!"_

_"…__alone is…!"_

_"alone"_

* * *

><p><strong>Huh, and I thought I would be nice after Chapter 15.<strong>


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